This is beautiful. Your poems are always a lifeline of defiant hope for me...especially the custom one whose last three lines are tattooed on my arm. Thank you.
That is beautiful..bit you could have met them on the bridge and it would not have mattered. They have to meet us before. And I know..my eh husband and daughter talk about this often
We have to talk way before the bridge or let go. Which is horrible but we do.
Thank you for your beautiful words, in the poem and the post. I’ve tried to be someone’s light a few times before, sometimes successfully. More frequently, and in secret, I’ve desperately searched for someone in those dark moments to be there for me. It has taken many years of therapy and some lucky mistakes that mean I am still here. Still trying to carry that defiant hope for myself.
Admittedly, years ago, finding one of your books I had bought on my shelf was was helped pull me from darkness one night. And it’s meant the world to me ever since, being fortunate enough to continue to read your words.
It's so hard to look back and wonder if there was more we could have done...if we could have made a difference. I lost a friend to suicide in high school and it was devastating. But, what's been even harder for me to face, are the losses that feel hopeless as they slip away slowly: my mother has Alzheimer's and it's like watching her drift out to sea in boat that has no oars, while I stand on shore helpless. I also lost my best friend of 23 years to his drug addiction...no amount of intervention could stop the loss. Neither of these two people are gone in body, but they are in spirit, so grief is ongoing and constant, because of the helplessness that seems to be suspended indefinitely. In a way, it's a blessing to grieve once someone is gone. But, it speaks to the very heart of you, all of you, who fight so hard to be a light where there is none. We may not be able to save the one we wish we had, but perhaps the light in our hearts touches others who do and can make better choices because of our interventions. 💗
Thank you! Loss is hard, but it can inform us in healthy ways, as you are well aware...it can open our hearts ever wider, it can prompt vulnerability and enthusiasm knowing how fleeting time can be, and it can be a constant reminder that opportunities to love can be lost. It informs us to be present for each and every moment. I have lost a lot, even more than I shared, as it’s the defining experience of my life, but if I can still love and cherish life through all the loss, anyone can. My optimism is unwavering. This life is so precious: all of it sacred; all of it to be savored. Tyler, you were a light for me at a time of immense grief, as I found Chasers of the Light after losing the man I loved to a rare genetic heart disorder. I spent two years in grief and your book became a salve for my soul. I even used some lines from one of your poems on my website (giving you full credit, of course) because your work has meant so much to me. You may not have been able to stop someone who meant so much to you from making a fatal choice, but you are a bright light in a world that you touch even if you don’t know it directly. I feel grateful to be able to say this to you now. 🙏🏻💗
Well now I’m crying on a bus! 😭 resonates so strong. Lost a friend a couple of years back and it’s devastating . Thankful for your whispers of hope in this poem 🙏
This broke my heart this morning. I’ve never lost anyone close in this way, but I know people who have stood on the edge, holding on by their fingertips. I also know that this last week or two I have been drowning in something I’ve not felt for a long time, but doesn’t feel good and, though I have some amazing friends, don’t feel I want to burden them with my lack of joy...I also don’t want to talk about it, explain it. Just the thought exhausts me and brings tears to my eyes.
Your words, though, bring me hope. Everyday now I look for your emails, because I know there is light in each of them that I can hold on to. Light that shows me the next, tiny step I need to take. You have no idea how much your words are what I need right now.
i have mixed feelings about this. my mom was suicidal during a good part of her life. she's still alive, thank God, but has never really been present in my life or the lives of my siblings for about 20 years now. so even though she was "saved" from suicide her life has been quite a bit diminished. there are also severe consequences to loved ones who live with a suicidal person who doesn't go through with it. i'm not saying we shouldn't intervene, it's just that we can only do so much. my siblings and i rallied to save my mom but we could only keep her alive, we couldn't really give her a full or meaningful life. sometimes i wonder if it would have been easier to lose her 20 to 25 years ago than to have a partial mother for the past 25 years. she's still alive and we love her and support her and take care of her, but she's not really there in a lot of ways. it's a tough situation.
This poem sent a chill from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Suicide has reared its ugly head many times in my life. I feel as though this is a safe space to recognize the people I have lost, and wish them eternal peace.
- Bill, my grandpa, who committed suicide on the first day of school in 2009.
- Nathan, my brother's best friend, whom we lost in 2013. He was like a brother to me.
- Jon, my ex-boyfriend, who took his life last May 2019. I was haunted for months after hearing this news. It is still very raw, and almost unbelievable. That year, his birthday fell on National Suicide Awareness day.
- Summer, a girl I went to school with, who just a couple months ago committed suicide on the eve of the anniversary of her little sister's death. A heart-breaking, gut wrenching, "punched in the stomach" feeling for our whole community.
Each one of these losses could have been saved, and I often find myself on dark days wondering what more I could've done. People always say that life keeps moving forward, and eventually you get past it. These are losses I have carried every single day. It doesn't matter how recent or long passed the loss is; on every anniversary it feels like the first day itself. All I can do is rejoice in knowing their pain is no longer and that they are reunited with the people they missed. I am eager to see them all again one day.
This was beautiful and touched me deeply. It is always a gem for me to find poetry on the loss of friends - so many poems exist about heartbreak from the loss of a lover, but the loss of a friend is just as much of a permanent fixture in your mind. Having lost two people in my life to suicide over the years, it brought me some peace to read this piece. Thank you.
My dad attempted suicide two years ago. He was a firefighter, and sustained a head injury from a collapsing chimney. The injury aggravated his depression and brought him to rock bottom. That was one of the scariest phone calls I've ever had in my life.
This is beautiful. Your poems are always a lifeline of defiant hope for me...especially the custom one whose last three lines are tattooed on my arm. Thank you.
It is my absolute pleasure, you are fantastic.
That is beautiful..bit you could have met them on the bridge and it would not have mattered. They have to meet us before. And I know..my eh husband and daughter talk about this often
We have to talk way before the bridge or let go. Which is horrible but we do.
I'll always talk way before, always.
Wonderful! That's all we can do!
My heart got caught in my throat reading, not only your point, but your thoughts leading into it ♥️
Love right back. Hope you are well.
Thank you for your beautiful words, in the poem and the post. I’ve tried to be someone’s light a few times before, sometimes successfully. More frequently, and in secret, I’ve desperately searched for someone in those dark moments to be there for me. It has taken many years of therapy and some lucky mistakes that mean I am still here. Still trying to carry that defiant hope for myself.
Admittedly, years ago, finding one of your books I had bought on my shelf was was helped pull me from darkness one night. And it’s meant the world to me ever since, being fortunate enough to continue to read your words.
Thank you for reading them. We're all here for you, should the darkness return. Know that.
It's so hard to look back and wonder if there was more we could have done...if we could have made a difference. I lost a friend to suicide in high school and it was devastating. But, what's been even harder for me to face, are the losses that feel hopeless as they slip away slowly: my mother has Alzheimer's and it's like watching her drift out to sea in boat that has no oars, while I stand on shore helpless. I also lost my best friend of 23 years to his drug addiction...no amount of intervention could stop the loss. Neither of these two people are gone in body, but they are in spirit, so grief is ongoing and constant, because of the helplessness that seems to be suspended indefinitely. In a way, it's a blessing to grieve once someone is gone. But, it speaks to the very heart of you, all of you, who fight so hard to be a light where there is none. We may not be able to save the one we wish we had, but perhaps the light in our hearts touches others who do and can make better choices because of our interventions. 💗
Goodness, I am so sorry to hear this, so very, very sorry. This is such a powerful message.
Thank you! Loss is hard, but it can inform us in healthy ways, as you are well aware...it can open our hearts ever wider, it can prompt vulnerability and enthusiasm knowing how fleeting time can be, and it can be a constant reminder that opportunities to love can be lost. It informs us to be present for each and every moment. I have lost a lot, even more than I shared, as it’s the defining experience of my life, but if I can still love and cherish life through all the loss, anyone can. My optimism is unwavering. This life is so precious: all of it sacred; all of it to be savored. Tyler, you were a light for me at a time of immense grief, as I found Chasers of the Light after losing the man I loved to a rare genetic heart disorder. I spent two years in grief and your book became a salve for my soul. I even used some lines from one of your poems on my website (giving you full credit, of course) because your work has meant so much to me. You may not have been able to stop someone who meant so much to you from making a fatal choice, but you are a bright light in a world that you touch even if you don’t know it directly. I feel grateful to be able to say this to you now. 🙏🏻💗
My goodness, we are so lucky to have you here. I hope you know how much we're always here. Thank you for this kindness.
Well now I’m crying on a bus! 😭 resonates so strong. Lost a friend a couple of years back and it’s devastating . Thankful for your whispers of hope in this poem 🙏
I am sorry for the tears, but I am so lucky you're here.
It’s fine, it’s more common than you’d think 😂
This broke my heart this morning. I’ve never lost anyone close in this way, but I know people who have stood on the edge, holding on by their fingertips. I also know that this last week or two I have been drowning in something I’ve not felt for a long time, but doesn’t feel good and, though I have some amazing friends, don’t feel I want to burden them with my lack of joy...I also don’t want to talk about it, explain it. Just the thought exhausts me and brings tears to my eyes.
Your words, though, bring me hope. Everyday now I look for your emails, because I know there is light in each of them that I can hold on to. Light that shows me the next, tiny step I need to take. You have no idea how much your words are what I need right now.
💙
I love this, I love that my silly little emails mean something. That means EVERYTHING to me.
i have mixed feelings about this. my mom was suicidal during a good part of her life. she's still alive, thank God, but has never really been present in my life or the lives of my siblings for about 20 years now. so even though she was "saved" from suicide her life has been quite a bit diminished. there are also severe consequences to loved ones who live with a suicidal person who doesn't go through with it. i'm not saying we shouldn't intervene, it's just that we can only do so much. my siblings and i rallied to save my mom but we could only keep her alive, we couldn't really give her a full or meaningful life. sometimes i wonder if it would have been easier to lose her 20 to 25 years ago than to have a partial mother for the past 25 years. she's still alive and we love her and support her and take care of her, but she's not really there in a lot of ways. it's a tough situation.
This poem sent a chill from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Suicide has reared its ugly head many times in my life. I feel as though this is a safe space to recognize the people I have lost, and wish them eternal peace.
- Bill, my grandpa, who committed suicide on the first day of school in 2009.
- Nathan, my brother's best friend, whom we lost in 2013. He was like a brother to me.
- Jon, my ex-boyfriend, who took his life last May 2019. I was haunted for months after hearing this news. It is still very raw, and almost unbelievable. That year, his birthday fell on National Suicide Awareness day.
- Summer, a girl I went to school with, who just a couple months ago committed suicide on the eve of the anniversary of her little sister's death. A heart-breaking, gut wrenching, "punched in the stomach" feeling for our whole community.
Each one of these losses could have been saved, and I often find myself on dark days wondering what more I could've done. People always say that life keeps moving forward, and eventually you get past it. These are losses I have carried every single day. It doesn't matter how recent or long passed the loss is; on every anniversary it feels like the first day itself. All I can do is rejoice in knowing their pain is no longer and that they are reunited with the people they missed. I am eager to see them all again one day.
This was beautiful and touched me deeply. It is always a gem for me to find poetry on the loss of friends - so many poems exist about heartbreak from the loss of a lover, but the loss of a friend is just as much of a permanent fixture in your mind. Having lost two people in my life to suicide over the years, it brought me some peace to read this piece. Thank you.
My dad attempted suicide two years ago. He was a firefighter, and sustained a head injury from a collapsing chimney. The injury aggravated his depression and brought him to rock bottom. That was one of the scariest phone calls I've ever had in my life.
I love you brother. Thanks for the constant hope.