WORRY KNOTT IS BACK!
How Long Should It Stay?!
It’s been a minute (ok it’s been like 2 years) since we’ve done a Worry Knott column, and it seems like some most of you want it to make a comeback from time to time. Your wish, as usual, is my command. Not sure how long it’ll stay, as it depends entirely on audience participation, but we’ll see how it goes. As before, the Worry Knott is here to help you to open up in ways maybe you wouldn’t otherwise. Maybe. I’m still waiting for someone to ask something altogether shocking or risquè or spicy or anything else, but alas, so far, not so. We’ll see. Here’s a reminder:
Basically, if you wish, you can ask me advice, questions, whatever. Simple as. You can ask what you like, it can be about anything, and is absolutely not limited to writing, poetry, etc. Anything. Life, love, relationships, career, fears, sex, passion, anger, travel, whatever.
I’m here, I’m ready to help, so, once more, this is Worry Knott, the advice column you never knew you needed. The ability to ask questions and interact is a subscriber perk, but we’d LOVE to have you on board. If you’re not yet part of the exclusive community that literally keeps the lights on around here, you can do so by clicking the button below.
How should I feel… my own mother was one of the people I “semi-blocked” from my life years ago for her actions towards others. I blocked her on social media and told her our relationship was more than her just following what was going on in our lives via that method. In 10 years, we’d seen her twice (well 3 times now). Once shortly after returning home from rehab (9 years ago), after my son’s father became a quadriplegic and then at a Thanksgiving dinner my amazing Aunt had, now 7 years ago, to try to bring the family together… My son’s father passed away in June, just after fulfilling his 9 yearlong dying wish, to see his son graduate high school and become a grown man by turning 18. He lived until week after graduation and one day after his son’s birthday. My son asked for years why we never get to see his grandma. Well, “because her house is very inaccessible” and she “can’t (be bothered to) drive the hour and a half to come here”. Then, she does come to the funeral, gets a ride with my sister and her husband, another blocked family member, who reeks of alcoholism and interrupts the service coming in late. After the graveside, my mother breaks in the greeting line to hug me and my son and tells us she loves us and that we should be able to come see her now, but she has to rush off early since her “ride” is ready to go and they have a long drive home – an hour and a half and it was only noonish. No big deal, really and truly. Typical… and frankly it was just awkward after not having seen her in 7 years.
Yesterday, I found out that they didn’t go home. Instead, they went to our longtime favorite brew pub and had dinner and drinks and hung out with the rest of my blocked family while they were all in town. The brew pub was one of the only restaurants my son’s father felt comfortable going to in his wheelchair. The owners are our friends, having even brought us Thanksgiving dinner at home when we first came home from rehab. They were one of the first people I called personally after his death before the public found out. Like that was our “spot” where we went weekly for trivia and bingo, and it took my son and I two months to even face going again because I knew it would be upsetting for both us and the staff who we’d known for over 10 years. No one there knew my family, but my family knew good and well it was our favorite spot.
I am very glad we didn’t happen to go there after the service (the brewpub owners stayed at the service longer and gave better hugs) and instead in secret came back to the house with only our closest friends, the ones who are more family than my own blood and enjoyed laughing over pizza and beers and reminiscing the good times.
I’m hurt and angry and so very tired of the lies. I’ve maintained birthdays, holidays, sending cards and gifts, but that’s it. Text communication is all we have ever so often for a holiday or birthday. Should I even say anything? I want to have my say, but I also admit I’m angry right now and feel like I should just let it slide and put it behind me like I always do. But it sure did sting to find out they rushed off like that just to go out.
I just know I have nothing nice to say and I don’t think anything I say will even matter … I talk to my son about pretty much everything, but I haven’t told him yet because I know how hurtful it will be.
What should I do? Go ahead and just burn what remains of that very already burnt bridge? Or just let it go...
I don’t really have a question or need advice, but I could use some hugs. Do you have any of those?