Krishnamurti said, “It’s no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” My sense is that if you don’t feel upside down during these extraordinary times, then you really aren’t paying attention. An unhealthy epoch has come to an end and we’re experiencing the turbulence of transformation, but first our collective shadow has and must bubble to the surface where it can be transformed and integrated. The macrocosm is a reflection of the microcosm, so each of us must also grapple with our own shadow side so we can emerge into the light. This is deep inner work and at times, exhausting. We bolster our selves in community like this, in nature, and in the light of our own hearts. 💗
It’s been a rollercoaster for me, for the last 7 years. I’ve been unable to bring what I thought was the love of my life, to something tangible. During this time I found myself, and a community of like minds. I’ve spent these years in near isolation, so when the pandemic hit, it didn’t feel different to me in that sense. I’d also had some dreams and visions as early as 2018 that told me something was coming. I thought I was ok last year, and up til now. But what has happened has gone deeper and found its way into many of my familial relationships, one by one dissolving what I thought were unbreakable bonds. Of course, it’s only surface that it seems this way. We are never not connected. But at a time when I thought we’d embrace each other, despite the distance and hardships, the opposite has happened. It’s the damndest thing and I’ve no answers for it, other than it’s just the way it is. Life is complicated. More so when you are doing deep shadow work and showing up. Not everyone wants to. I’m learning to stay in my lane because no matter how kind and loving we try to be, our attempts to communicate with authenticity will not be heard as intended. It’s easier for people to stay silent, or get offended. I’m thankful for my beautiful grown children that have and continue to be there, and a few dear friends. I’m thankful for spaces such as these and people like you. I feel you. All of you. Hang in there.
Yes, this is a felt sense. Deeply, yes. Our bodies have this beautiful book of wisdom and I feel my access to that knowledge has been blocked. I have been spinning and spinning. There is more darkness than I care to admit to with words. To each of you, I send so much love. I send you so much gratitude for your reaching. Keep reaching, please.
Indeed, I've felt this for probably more than I care to admit. Yet it's been more intense in the last 4 years (won't go in to that). So much to think about and so much going on - I find at times that I'm irritable or angry unexpectedly. I'm restless to travel and yet hide in my spot. The age of Aquarius is upon us, so astrologers say....what's ahead?
I appreciate your picture and symbolism. I love how swans stand out, and then to see the body made to give back some conveniences as a place to hold its head. Lucky for them and pretty amazing how adaptable they are. I've tried to pet one once, and it almost worked. Taking things in stride like a straight line is happening but all I have to share are random thoughts. To my reaction to the picture and one's relief options. This is random but I once had a hypnosis session for past life regressions and I recall how good it felt to release all the stress of losing a parent at that time and taking on more responsibilities. In the session, he took me back to an early past life through a tunnel as far back as I can go and steadily came out where I walk right into the chase as a young child running through tall grass on a mountain farm-like place, feeling the sunshine, and chasing butterflies. Everything was about delight. It's a feeling we lose anyway as we get caught up in adult life and to recall it again was amazing relief! This was my reminder of how all that felt to be free, innocent, full of curiosity, energized! I can compare this to this life and the image in my head of an old black and white photo of me, 4 years old, swinging on willow tree branches and feet off the ground, flying through the air like I just don't care, a female version of Tarzan in a plaid skirt, white top and saddle shoes. Passing through the shadows and the bright filtered light and surrounded with so many limbs to pick from. Full of health, strength, ready for the challenge. Obviously appreciated enough for being someone's (Mom) enjoyment to take a picture of me. It stays with me. If life were a giant game of Yahtzee, that day was a great roll! Some rolls are the ones you just deposit in the chance category and not waste your points. But not quite that simple, hold onto your steady, this is the tunnel and it will open up again. When it does make up for all that feels like it was lost. The big pond is full of ripples in another way of saying things.
Ah.. you can't edit the comments... lol I meant taking things in stride like a straight line isn't happening... Anyway, I just wanted to participate and be a part of this community.
Can I add one more thing, even relief is short-term. Obviously, it didn't rid me of grief but it was long enough in recall to remember what that freedom felt like. It helped.
From an exercise that I stumbled on when I randomly decided to send myself a letter to myself when I was 24 from myself when I was 16 (it's a practice I've continued. My next letter from the past gets opened on my 55th birthday in a few years), I've come to really appreciate the struggle in the middle of all the good stuff. I'm not minimizing anyone's struggle, particularly if it's very painful (always was very/too painful or just is right now very/too painful), but I am saying that, in re-reading all my letters, I've come to understand that the struggle is ever present AND shifts over time - it can become very topsy turvy at times, and at others feel just heavy, like something that can't lift, and others so piercing you don't know how people live like this. What I've seen is that the struggle I'm trying to solve or in which I'm trying to feel or be something else - seems to shift like clouds changing shapes in the sky. Still, every stage of my life has had SOMETHING, and I'm pretty sure it's that way for us all. I'm not saying it's not terrible. But, this knowledge that the struggle is real and always somewhere in the back of my mind has helped me to do what Tyler encourages us to do every day - find the beautiful that is mixed in with the struggle in the day-to-day. Find all the things I love and also - lean in to that struggle. It's trying to tell us what to pay attention to. It's saying "Something is not right." And even if just sitting with it is the thing you do to combat it (or finding someone to sit in it with you) or you can do one tiny thing that combats the struggle, that is a huge thing. And if that is finding a sunset or a pretty flower, or the person who smiled at you, or your kid doing something nice, or petting your dog, or whatever you're doing that is LIFe. It's all a huge jumble - the terrible and the beautiful. The struggle is still there, but imperceptibly, it is shifting, just like the sky.
Indeed, it has been a rough 12 months.....every moment I think I have solid footing, I seem to teeter and fall. I’m used to being alone, as an introvert, I prefer it at times, but this isolation from this pandemic is unbearable at times. Takes me to dark places in my mind and I catch myself replaying situations over and over in my head....to the point that I’m driving myself bonkers! Throughout all of the 2020 madness and isolation, I still remained thankful that my loved ones remained healthy and covid free. Until February. I fell into a dark abyss in February when a very very close friend of mine died of covid without warning. She was fine. Then she wasn’t. She was in her thirties. She has three young kiddos. I’ve experienced loss....the passing and loss of people I love. This one was different. Is different. That dark place. You know the one...the one you’ve visited before, but really don’t want to become old friends with again?? I’m just now barely seeing the light and I am thankful for it’s return. Abundantly thankful, but still very aware that the past year feels anything BUT real. The past 12 months feels like a dream...a horrible nightmare that I cannot wake myself from.
The waves of grief, they come, but you are never alone, I promise. Sometimes it feels you are crushed beneath, sometimes like you are cresting above, such is loosening and releasing that thread of life. We scramble to clutch it, to hold every memory as tight as we can, until our nails bite into our hands, not knowing it’s the sea itself that holds the memories, each wave brings them back to us, from here until eternity.
I lost someone on February 6th. I’m so sorry. If you need someone outside your circle to talk to, you can message me @adamslilyan. Sometimes it helps to just send things into the void. If there is anyway to help her family, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Krishnamurti said, “It’s no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” My sense is that if you don’t feel upside down during these extraordinary times, then you really aren’t paying attention. An unhealthy epoch has come to an end and we’re experiencing the turbulence of transformation, but first our collective shadow has and must bubble to the surface where it can be transformed and integrated. The macrocosm is a reflection of the microcosm, so each of us must also grapple with our own shadow side so we can emerge into the light. This is deep inner work and at times, exhausting. We bolster our selves in community like this, in nature, and in the light of our own hearts. 💗
Touche on this! I am so thankful for this community!
Me too! It's a bright place and I love being a part of what you've started here. 💗
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” From Rumi to Gandhi, Jesus to JFK, all agree.
YES! We change the world by changing ourselves.
I feel this so deeply in my soul.
:) We're with you.
It’s been a rollercoaster for me, for the last 7 years. I’ve been unable to bring what I thought was the love of my life, to something tangible. During this time I found myself, and a community of like minds. I’ve spent these years in near isolation, so when the pandemic hit, it didn’t feel different to me in that sense. I’d also had some dreams and visions as early as 2018 that told me something was coming. I thought I was ok last year, and up til now. But what has happened has gone deeper and found its way into many of my familial relationships, one by one dissolving what I thought were unbreakable bonds. Of course, it’s only surface that it seems this way. We are never not connected. But at a time when I thought we’d embrace each other, despite the distance and hardships, the opposite has happened. It’s the damndest thing and I’ve no answers for it, other than it’s just the way it is. Life is complicated. More so when you are doing deep shadow work and showing up. Not everyone wants to. I’m learning to stay in my lane because no matter how kind and loving we try to be, our attempts to communicate with authenticity will not be heard as intended. It’s easier for people to stay silent, or get offended. I’m thankful for my beautiful grown children that have and continue to be there, and a few dear friends. I’m thankful for spaces such as these and people like you. I feel you. All of you. Hang in there.
Thank you for this. For this honesty. We're here should you need, too!
Yes, this is a felt sense. Deeply, yes. Our bodies have this beautiful book of wisdom and I feel my access to that knowledge has been blocked. I have been spinning and spinning. There is more darkness than I care to admit to with words. To each of you, I send so much love. I send you so much gratitude for your reaching. Keep reaching, please.
We send it all the way back. It's yours.
Yes! Soul sick 🙏🏼❤️
Indeed, I've felt this for probably more than I care to admit. Yet it's been more intense in the last 4 years (won't go in to that). So much to think about and so much going on - I find at times that I'm irritable or angry unexpectedly. I'm restless to travel and yet hide in my spot. The age of Aquarius is upon us, so astrologers say....what's ahead?
The unexpected irritability is the hard thing to handle sometimes, just not knowing where the hell it's coming from.
Yes!
I can definitely empathize with the irritability.
I appreciate your picture and symbolism. I love how swans stand out, and then to see the body made to give back some conveniences as a place to hold its head. Lucky for them and pretty amazing how adaptable they are. I've tried to pet one once, and it almost worked. Taking things in stride like a straight line is happening but all I have to share are random thoughts. To my reaction to the picture and one's relief options. This is random but I once had a hypnosis session for past life regressions and I recall how good it felt to release all the stress of losing a parent at that time and taking on more responsibilities. In the session, he took me back to an early past life through a tunnel as far back as I can go and steadily came out where I walk right into the chase as a young child running through tall grass on a mountain farm-like place, feeling the sunshine, and chasing butterflies. Everything was about delight. It's a feeling we lose anyway as we get caught up in adult life and to recall it again was amazing relief! This was my reminder of how all that felt to be free, innocent, full of curiosity, energized! I can compare this to this life and the image in my head of an old black and white photo of me, 4 years old, swinging on willow tree branches and feet off the ground, flying through the air like I just don't care, a female version of Tarzan in a plaid skirt, white top and saddle shoes. Passing through the shadows and the bright filtered light and surrounded with so many limbs to pick from. Full of health, strength, ready for the challenge. Obviously appreciated enough for being someone's (Mom) enjoyment to take a picture of me. It stays with me. If life were a giant game of Yahtzee, that day was a great roll! Some rolls are the ones you just deposit in the chance category and not waste your points. But not quite that simple, hold onto your steady, this is the tunnel and it will open up again. When it does make up for all that feels like it was lost. The big pond is full of ripples in another way of saying things.
Ah.. you can't edit the comments... lol I meant taking things in stride like a straight line isn't happening... Anyway, I just wanted to participate and be a part of this community.
Can I add one more thing, even relief is short-term. Obviously, it didn't rid me of grief but it was long enough in recall to remember what that freedom felt like. It helped.
From an exercise that I stumbled on when I randomly decided to send myself a letter to myself when I was 24 from myself when I was 16 (it's a practice I've continued. My next letter from the past gets opened on my 55th birthday in a few years), I've come to really appreciate the struggle in the middle of all the good stuff. I'm not minimizing anyone's struggle, particularly if it's very painful (always was very/too painful or just is right now very/too painful), but I am saying that, in re-reading all my letters, I've come to understand that the struggle is ever present AND shifts over time - it can become very topsy turvy at times, and at others feel just heavy, like something that can't lift, and others so piercing you don't know how people live like this. What I've seen is that the struggle I'm trying to solve or in which I'm trying to feel or be something else - seems to shift like clouds changing shapes in the sky. Still, every stage of my life has had SOMETHING, and I'm pretty sure it's that way for us all. I'm not saying it's not terrible. But, this knowledge that the struggle is real and always somewhere in the back of my mind has helped me to do what Tyler encourages us to do every day - find the beautiful that is mixed in with the struggle in the day-to-day. Find all the things I love and also - lean in to that struggle. It's trying to tell us what to pay attention to. It's saying "Something is not right." And even if just sitting with it is the thing you do to combat it (or finding someone to sit in it with you) or you can do one tiny thing that combats the struggle, that is a huge thing. And if that is finding a sunset or a pretty flower, or the person who smiled at you, or your kid doing something nice, or petting your dog, or whatever you're doing that is LIFe. It's all a huge jumble - the terrible and the beautiful. The struggle is still there, but imperceptibly, it is shifting, just like the sky.
Indeed, it has been a rough 12 months.....every moment I think I have solid footing, I seem to teeter and fall. I’m used to being alone, as an introvert, I prefer it at times, but this isolation from this pandemic is unbearable at times. Takes me to dark places in my mind and I catch myself replaying situations over and over in my head....to the point that I’m driving myself bonkers! Throughout all of the 2020 madness and isolation, I still remained thankful that my loved ones remained healthy and covid free. Until February. I fell into a dark abyss in February when a very very close friend of mine died of covid without warning. She was fine. Then she wasn’t. She was in her thirties. She has three young kiddos. I’ve experienced loss....the passing and loss of people I love. This one was different. Is different. That dark place. You know the one...the one you’ve visited before, but really don’t want to become old friends with again?? I’m just now barely seeing the light and I am thankful for it’s return. Abundantly thankful, but still very aware that the past year feels anything BUT real. The past 12 months feels like a dream...a horrible nightmare that I cannot wake myself from.
Oh, Love.
The waves of grief, they come, but you are never alone, I promise. Sometimes it feels you are crushed beneath, sometimes like you are cresting above, such is loosening and releasing that thread of life. We scramble to clutch it, to hold every memory as tight as we can, until our nails bite into our hands, not knowing it’s the sea itself that holds the memories, each wave brings them back to us, from here until eternity.
I lost someone on February 6th. I’m so sorry. If you need someone outside your circle to talk to, you can message me @adamslilyan. Sometimes it helps to just send things into the void. If there is anyway to help her family, please don’t hesitate to ask.
"Soul sick." I love that. I definitely feel that subtle ache every day. I just try to find as much joy as I can in the little things.
This one is for your enjoyment, Tyler. Fast forward to 8:50 on this video. https://youtu.be/Wqz9dJaKeDc
https://youtu.be/NWY8lzv_mkQ