Who Else Should I Be? | 11.19.20
Introspection time…answer me this, if you please: Do you look inward ever and wonder if you’re living up to the person you should be? Do you wonder if you need to be kinder, softer, more joyful, do you wonder if you’re not living up to some standard you set for yourself that no one else does? I find myself sometimes wondering these things, but what makes it altogether more challenging is that my ASD makes it so my own self-image is hardly there at all. I do not look in mirrors often, never into my own eyes, and I can honestly say that I have no true ego that I’m aware of. I look at myself and it’s mostly blank and mostly a mystery, which complicates situations like the haiku below even further, as I’m wondering if I am doing enough without any basis behind it to compare to. My goodness, this is a train wreck of thought and I hope some of you understand, and I would love to hear how YOU feel about this when it comes to your own imaginings. Ring in, I’m all ears.
Am I more than this,
am I letting myself down?
Who else should I be?
Haiku on Life by Tyler Knott Gregson
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Yes I do this every day.... as a teacher there is this constant pouring out of love, energy, passion, and labor.... and yet I never feel as if it is enough. I am not sure if that is a standard I set on myself fully or something I have carried for years.... I even have the word “Enough” tattooed on me, but it is almost like that embodiment makes me forget the forgiveness and understanding I already bestowed on myself
I do this a lot. Sometimes I wonder... if it wasn't for this physical body holding containing my spirit, what and who would I be? I certainly wouldn't be as afraid or self conscious as I am now. Lately I've been trying to step into my personal power and really embody the energy I know is there .. However, things and growth happen in divine timing so I really just sit back and try to follow my growth patterns, at least that's what I've been doing lately.