Why do we think we need to be perfect to be loved? WTH? How toxic? We don’t think that about our kids,….so why ourselves , or our friends, neighbors, hell especially strangers we are so fond of judging.
Your scars are your STORY. In my opinion, in my deepest thoughts to myself, they are a
piece and a part of who you are. 💜💜
The story itself! We as humans give in to (talking to myself here, as well) the "perfect" appearance, body, clothes, style, so much more.. we are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalms 139:14)🙌🏼❤. Some of the imperfections you have may hold a hard time in your life, but please hear me: You are so much brighter and more beautiful than you even know! So, SHINE bright.🙂 💫💜
I can’t help but notice the way these topics consistently coincide with observations in my life. My daughter sent me a group photo last night of her with her boyfriend and his family, who she is just getting to know. She once struggled very much with body image and was anorexic for a time. It’s been years and she made it through that phase. When she started dating this man, he made comments along the lines of “I’m going to fatten you up, and I love big thighs.” I remember her surprise when she told me this, and how she proudly stated that she was comfortable where she was. That she’d went through hell and came back. It was hard work for her to achieve a healthy weight. All of the women in the group photo, including my daughter were wearing bathing suits, and all of them except my daughter would be considered obese. They were all smiling and it looked very authentic. It looked like a family that was truly comfortable in their skin. It’s not a surprise to me that my daughter attracted a man that would offer her reflection in this way. Much of what is talked about in culture is a thing. Much of it is not. We make it so. It all comes down to self. And it’s all personal. We eventually get to a place where if it’s important enough for ourselves, regardless of what society says, we do the thing. We make the change. We live in a world where suffering is available as an experience and much of what we spend our time doing is figuring out how to alleviate it. The rest is trying to survive in a system that doesn’t seem fair. Two halves of a brain, and it’s all history. We make much ado about everything and the earth, she just spins. Happy Independence Day everyone. Much Love xo
Hey Tyler, It took me a couple of day to gather my thoughts, but first I want to thank you. Thank you for your words, your time, and your Sunday Newsletter. My boyfriend and I have started this little tradition about 4 or 5 months ago where every Sunday morning while coffee is being poured or breakfast just eaten, I read aloud your Sunday newsletter to him. It usually ends up turning into a conversation we then have or a silent acknowledgement in the way your words speak to us and our truth. Being it the holiday weekend and away from our cell phones camping, I didn’t read the newsletter
until our car ride home yesterday and this is the first newsletter that brought me to tears. It caught me off guard, but spoke to the ways I have been feeling about my body, my looks, and the worth that is tied to them. I have been overweight my entire life and have always had this innate sense that I needed to change. It has imbedded itself within our culture and it has hit me harder this past year because I have gained weight back that I had previously lost. This has sent me into a bit of a tailspin for the past year or so, being obsessed with working out, with eating right, with putting the most amount of effort in I possibly can so I can accept myself, so I can be as beautiful as I think others deserve of me. Your words are so alike to the ones people I love (including my boyfriend) tell me all the time, but the way you said “You’ve given enough… enough time, enough tears, enough stress, enough worry…” That’s where I broke, because I have spent the better part of my time agonizing and crying over whether what I’m doing is right, is good, will allow me to get to the point where I have done enough to start loving myself again. But, I need to let that idea go. I need to do what you spoke of and figure out what is coming from me and what I think I “have” to do. Once again, thank you. I can’t wait till Sunday!
You have no idea what it means to me to hear things like this...to think I am part of some beautiful morning routine, what an amazing thing. For the rest of this, thank you even more. You are stunning, beautiful, and perfect as you are, and I am so glad you have those that are helping you see that. Please don't be discouraged when you feel like you're trying too hard, caring too much, working too hard, to change, to "improve." We're allowed to be a million things at once, and that is ok. We love you, you are loved, and I hope you continue to fall deeper into that love with yourself, too.
Why do we think we need to be perfect to be loved? WTH? How toxic? We don’t think that about our kids,….so why ourselves , or our friends, neighbors, hell especially strangers we are so fond of judging.
Thanks for this Tyler!
I wonder of this all the time, why we're so damn vicious to ourselves. It breaks my heart.
Your scars are your STORY. In my opinion, in my deepest thoughts to myself, they are a
piece and a part of who you are. 💜💜
The story itself! We as humans give in to (talking to myself here, as well) the "perfect" appearance, body, clothes, style, so much more.. we are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalms 139:14)🙌🏼❤. Some of the imperfections you have may hold a hard time in your life, but please hear me: You are so much brighter and more beautiful than you even know! So, SHINE bright.🙂 💫💜
So beautifully put. I love the imperfections. LOVE LOVE.
I can’t help but notice the way these topics consistently coincide with observations in my life. My daughter sent me a group photo last night of her with her boyfriend and his family, who she is just getting to know. She once struggled very much with body image and was anorexic for a time. It’s been years and she made it through that phase. When she started dating this man, he made comments along the lines of “I’m going to fatten you up, and I love big thighs.” I remember her surprise when she told me this, and how she proudly stated that she was comfortable where she was. That she’d went through hell and came back. It was hard work for her to achieve a healthy weight. All of the women in the group photo, including my daughter were wearing bathing suits, and all of them except my daughter would be considered obese. They were all smiling and it looked very authentic. It looked like a family that was truly comfortable in their skin. It’s not a surprise to me that my daughter attracted a man that would offer her reflection in this way. Much of what is talked about in culture is a thing. Much of it is not. We make it so. It all comes down to self. And it’s all personal. We eventually get to a place where if it’s important enough for ourselves, regardless of what society says, we do the thing. We make the change. We live in a world where suffering is available as an experience and much of what we spend our time doing is figuring out how to alleviate it. The rest is trying to survive in a system that doesn’t seem fair. Two halves of a brain, and it’s all history. We make much ado about everything and the earth, she just spins. Happy Independence Day everyone. Much Love xo
I Love this story, and I love that she's doing so much better. What an absolutely beautiful relief. Thank you for this sharing.
Hey Tyler, It took me a couple of day to gather my thoughts, but first I want to thank you. Thank you for your words, your time, and your Sunday Newsletter. My boyfriend and I have started this little tradition about 4 or 5 months ago where every Sunday morning while coffee is being poured or breakfast just eaten, I read aloud your Sunday newsletter to him. It usually ends up turning into a conversation we then have or a silent acknowledgement in the way your words speak to us and our truth. Being it the holiday weekend and away from our cell phones camping, I didn’t read the newsletter
until our car ride home yesterday and this is the first newsletter that brought me to tears. It caught me off guard, but spoke to the ways I have been feeling about my body, my looks, and the worth that is tied to them. I have been overweight my entire life and have always had this innate sense that I needed to change. It has imbedded itself within our culture and it has hit me harder this past year because I have gained weight back that I had previously lost. This has sent me into a bit of a tailspin for the past year or so, being obsessed with working out, with eating right, with putting the most amount of effort in I possibly can so I can accept myself, so I can be as beautiful as I think others deserve of me. Your words are so alike to the ones people I love (including my boyfriend) tell me all the time, but the way you said “You’ve given enough… enough time, enough tears, enough stress, enough worry…” That’s where I broke, because I have spent the better part of my time agonizing and crying over whether what I’m doing is right, is good, will allow me to get to the point where I have done enough to start loving myself again. But, I need to let that idea go. I need to do what you spoke of and figure out what is coming from me and what I think I “have” to do. Once again, thank you. I can’t wait till Sunday!
You have no idea what it means to me to hear things like this...to think I am part of some beautiful morning routine, what an amazing thing. For the rest of this, thank you even more. You are stunning, beautiful, and perfect as you are, and I am so glad you have those that are helping you see that. Please don't be discouraged when you feel like you're trying too hard, caring too much, working too hard, to change, to "improve." We're allowed to be a million things at once, and that is ok. We love you, you are loved, and I hope you continue to fall deeper into that love with yourself, too.