“We collect acquaintances over fear of being alone, and then discover that we feel lonely anyways.”
This statement was a brutal truth to face. I was reading a book recently and a character said “this is you pushing me away and this is me sticking” and I realized how quickly I am to create space and distance when things get uncomfortable, …
“We collect acquaintances over fear of being alone, and then discover that we feel lonely anyways.”
This statement was a brutal truth to face. I was reading a book recently and a character said “this is you pushing me away and this is me sticking” and I realized how quickly I am to create space and distance when things get uncomfortable, rather than share hard truths.
I reflect on relationships I’ve had throughout the past - friends, family, romantic - and realized how easy it is to simply withdraw when something is said or done that I am not comfortable rather than okay with, instead of having the hard conversation and working through it.
I had a friend open up to me once about some things I’d done that had hurt her and I apologized, made it right, and then we moved on. I still think about how confused I felt that she didn’t hold it over me or that it wasn’t more damaging to the relationship. And then I realized that’s how relationships are supposed to be. You’re authentic, you mess up, you get called out, you apologize, you work to be better, you’re forgiven. It made me realize I have a lot of work to do in terms of facing conflict rather than ignoring or hiding from it. I was burning bridges before they had a chance to repair themselves. And I don’t want to do that.
Lots to think on today. Thank you, Tyler, for teaching us the importance of healthy conflict in a world that is screaming at us that mistakes are an end and not a part of the process.
"And then I realized that’s how relationships are supposed to be. You’re authentic, you mess up, you get called out, you apologize, you work to be better, you’re forgiven." I love this. How do make ammends, how to do a repair. Most of us don't get a ton of practice with this. But we can learn.
This is so delightfully astute Tori, everything you said after pointing out the brutal truth I wrote of, is so precisely on. Thank YOU for teaching US with your words. They are so welcome and appreciated here.
“We collect acquaintances over fear of being alone, and then discover that we feel lonely anyways.”
This statement was a brutal truth to face. I was reading a book recently and a character said “this is you pushing me away and this is me sticking” and I realized how quickly I am to create space and distance when things get uncomfortable, rather than share hard truths.
I reflect on relationships I’ve had throughout the past - friends, family, romantic - and realized how easy it is to simply withdraw when something is said or done that I am not comfortable rather than okay with, instead of having the hard conversation and working through it.
I had a friend open up to me once about some things I’d done that had hurt her and I apologized, made it right, and then we moved on. I still think about how confused I felt that she didn’t hold it over me or that it wasn’t more damaging to the relationship. And then I realized that’s how relationships are supposed to be. You’re authentic, you mess up, you get called out, you apologize, you work to be better, you’re forgiven. It made me realize I have a lot of work to do in terms of facing conflict rather than ignoring or hiding from it. I was burning bridges before they had a chance to repair themselves. And I don’t want to do that.
Lots to think on today. Thank you, Tyler, for teaching us the importance of healthy conflict in a world that is screaming at us that mistakes are an end and not a part of the process.
"And then I realized that’s how relationships are supposed to be. You’re authentic, you mess up, you get called out, you apologize, you work to be better, you’re forgiven." I love this. How do make ammends, how to do a repair. Most of us don't get a ton of practice with this. But we can learn.
This is so delightfully astute Tori, everything you said after pointing out the brutal truth I wrote of, is so precisely on. Thank YOU for teaching US with your words. They are so welcome and appreciated here.