I received a heavy and frightening diagnosis this weekend following months of some of the worst physical pain I’ve ever experienced. This experience has been heartbreaking, humbling, and if nothing else a good exercise in empathy for my patients (especially my chronic painers). It’s forced me to allow space for other people to try to help me (I can’t open anything. Hands are essentially useless) and lean into being vulnerable and trusting my partner even when it feels scary and having the opportunity to experience the gentle care, compassion, and devotion I stopped believing I would ever find or be valuable enough to receive.
And while I can see the beauty, grappling with the sorrow and grief is overwhelming right now.
I hope this wasn’t too much, but thank you for cultivating a safe space 💕
Alex, never too much. You are allowed to feel everything you are feeling, no matter who may attempt to shrink or minimize your emotions. Big hugs being sent your way, all of me holds all of you. (I hope that doesn't sound anything less than sincere, I was born with an empathic spirit :) this breath then the next
NEVER TOO MUCH. We're here, always, and this is the safest place you can always vent, turn to, and know that people will be here to support you. All will settle, and this too shall pass, I do believe that. If you need us, we're here.
That essay! The haiku! The song! All so perfect and with a Dr. Who theme to boot!! (Such an incredible episode and I love how you spun it into your essay). Color me impressed Mr. G, color me impressed.
(And I pray that we all might have an ounce of that kind of selfless kindness.)
As a star whale myself, yes please send them all the love you have to give. It fuels us. It heals us. Just love everything you can as much as you can. ❤️
What a wonderful way to breathe in this sunny Sunday morning. Thank you, tkg, again and again for offering allowance, acknowledgement and affirmation that every human needs in this world of both beauty and tragedy. None of us truly know the deep visceral pain that flows through the cells of others. We only know our own. To sit with someone in the midst of their unraveling, leaving ours outside, is where that amazing connection is made. That magical engagement that is so real, so raw, so primal and feeds us more nourishment that any meal could ever provide. Allow kindness in & ricochet it right back into the universe like tomorrow doesn't exist... #open
Tara, you're welcome, again and again you're welcome, as always. I love how you described the place where true connection is made, what a beautiful way of saying it. This was such a beautiful sentiment.
just for context... being a death doula and experiencing tragic loss more than once, both personally and professionally, the grief high-jacking that takes place, generally unknowingly, is something I wish folks could control or at least come to realize that IT IS NOT HELPFUL TO COMPARE YOUR LOSS, EVER. Loss is individual, loss is subjective and only through a collective understanding that although our experiences may have the same final outcome, the precursor to every human experience we have dictates how we carry on after the dust settles. I'm trying to manifest my pain in a positive, reflective way. Being able to read and learn from wonderful storytellers, such as yourself, is helping get me there. I have always enjoyed and longed to write, but life got in the way. I'm preparing myself to stand up to that wall of triggers that try to push me back, crafting windows to allow the light in :) kudos
When you started explaining that Dr Who episode, it reminded me of the story “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” by Le Guin. I used to teach that story to my freshmen. The concept seemed difficult for many to understand, and others looked so sad when they realized.
Thank you, @ Tyler Knott Gregson, for pouring your heart and soul into these. So thankful for you. And for this safe space as well. I've spoke about my severe TBI (Traumatic brain injury)
a few times on here,... there were many star whales in my life that year and still to this very day. I thank heaven above for them all.
I'm truly blew away by this and how I thought of each individual who dropped everything for me that year; My therapist's, doctors, MY FAMILY.
Taylor, you're so very welcome, it's the work I've always wanted to be doing, and I count myself so fortunate that you all show up here. I'm so glad you were wrapped in the love that star whales know to give. You deserve it.
I have a dear friend who is a star whale. Life has not been easy for her, and she has done the work to heal her trauma and use it to help others. She was SA'd as a child by an uncle, physically abused in the name of discipline by an overzealous grandmother (meaner than a two-headed snake, she's said). She and her two older siblings were raised by an alcoholic single mother after her dad walked out when she was only 3. As an adult, after having two beautiful daughters, she suffered multiple miscarriages before her son came along. She has turned all of this life experience into pure empathy and kindness for others. When she tells her story, she says the same thing you did - we all have a choice in how we respond. She could have been a mean, bitter person that no one wanted to be around. Instead, she made her empathy be her superpower, and she's an angel among us.
Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to your friend so very much. What a gift she is, to take all that, absorb it, and spit out out as kindness and love. What a perfect example, and I am SO THANKFUL you have her.
I'm incredibly thankful for her too. I met her my first day on a new job back in 1997, and we soon became very close friends - she's my sister at heart. When I was down with my knee injury 4 years ago, she's the one who showed up to help make food, clean my house, do laundry, whatever needed done.
This is beautiful. Thank you Tyler for all you bring and all you give of your heart and energy to the world around us.
I’ve never watched Dr Who, but I loved your Star Whale so much I decided to name her Grace.
Perhaps she too was wild and fiery in her past before she learned to accept the pain and hurt that is inevitable and find the means to respond with love and empathy.
Can I start with the new one on Disney or do I have to go all the way back?? It feels like getting into Star Trek for the first time and not knowing where to jump in!! (I’m team next generation all the way)
This is beautifully timed, right up to me reading it 2 days after it was posted. At the time you posted this, I was struggling with the decision to be kind and understanding even though I was pissed and felt like a rug being taken for granted and walked all over.
I've softened in the past two days, though I am not done. I need to stand my ground and make a statement of abusing my kind heartedness somehow. I don't want to threaten that if there is a next time, it may be time to cut the cord, as painful as it would be. But I want to make a statement that, while being kindhearted, I may not always be as understanding as I am today. I just haven't found the right words … but, well, maybe I just did! What about that.
Thanks for aiding my clarity with this brilliant piece. Now I need to find the Doctor Who episode as I don't remember it very well. So, I will find it somehow and re-watch it. Thanks for all you are and do. Peace.
Fitting this should be the topic this week.
I received a heavy and frightening diagnosis this weekend following months of some of the worst physical pain I’ve ever experienced. This experience has been heartbreaking, humbling, and if nothing else a good exercise in empathy for my patients (especially my chronic painers). It’s forced me to allow space for other people to try to help me (I can’t open anything. Hands are essentially useless) and lean into being vulnerable and trusting my partner even when it feels scary and having the opportunity to experience the gentle care, compassion, and devotion I stopped believing I would ever find or be valuable enough to receive.
And while I can see the beauty, grappling with the sorrow and grief is overwhelming right now.
I hope this wasn’t too much, but thank you for cultivating a safe space 💕
Alex, never too much. You are allowed to feel everything you are feeling, no matter who may attempt to shrink or minimize your emotions. Big hugs being sent your way, all of me holds all of you. (I hope that doesn't sound anything less than sincere, I was born with an empathic spirit :) this breath then the next
This was really comforting. Thank you for your space and compassion 💕
NEVER TOO MUCH. We're here, always, and this is the safest place you can always vent, turn to, and know that people will be here to support you. All will settle, and this too shall pass, I do believe that. If you need us, we're here.
That essay! The haiku! The song! All so perfect and with a Dr. Who theme to boot!! (Such an incredible episode and I love how you spun it into your essay). Color me impressed Mr. G, color me impressed.
(And I pray that we all might have an ounce of that kind of selfless kindness.)
Thank you.
:) I'll color you impressed, and do my damn best to keep it up for you! I too, hope for that kindness in all of us.
You’re my favorite star whale, always. ❤️
I love you my man.
As a star whale myself, yes please send them all the love you have to give. It fuels us. It heals us. Just love everything you can as much as you can. ❤️
Love, love, love, love is always the answer. Here's to the Star Whales.
What a wonderful way to breathe in this sunny Sunday morning. Thank you, tkg, again and again for offering allowance, acknowledgement and affirmation that every human needs in this world of both beauty and tragedy. None of us truly know the deep visceral pain that flows through the cells of others. We only know our own. To sit with someone in the midst of their unraveling, leaving ours outside, is where that amazing connection is made. That magical engagement that is so real, so raw, so primal and feeds us more nourishment that any meal could ever provide. Allow kindness in & ricochet it right back into the universe like tomorrow doesn't exist... #open
Tara, you're welcome, again and again you're welcome, as always. I love how you described the place where true connection is made, what a beautiful way of saying it. This was such a beautiful sentiment.
just for context... being a death doula and experiencing tragic loss more than once, both personally and professionally, the grief high-jacking that takes place, generally unknowingly, is something I wish folks could control or at least come to realize that IT IS NOT HELPFUL TO COMPARE YOUR LOSS, EVER. Loss is individual, loss is subjective and only through a collective understanding that although our experiences may have the same final outcome, the precursor to every human experience we have dictates how we carry on after the dust settles. I'm trying to manifest my pain in a positive, reflective way. Being able to read and learn from wonderful storytellers, such as yourself, is helping get me there. I have always enjoyed and longed to write, but life got in the way. I'm preparing myself to stand up to that wall of triggers that try to push me back, crafting windows to allow the light in :) kudos
When you started explaining that Dr Who episode, it reminded me of the story “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” by Le Guin. I used to teach that story to my freshmen. The concept seemed difficult for many to understand, and others looked so sad when they realized.
Oooh, I need to read this. Thank you!
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL essay! 💜😪🫶🏼
Thank you, @ Tyler Knott Gregson, for pouring your heart and soul into these. So thankful for you. And for this safe space as well. I've spoke about my severe TBI (Traumatic brain injury)
a few times on here,... there were many star whales in my life that year and still to this very day. I thank heaven above for them all.
I'm truly blew away by this and how I thought of each individual who dropped everything for me that year; My therapist's, doctors, MY FAMILY.
Gosh this hit home. 💜💜💜
🫶🏼
Taylor, you're so very welcome, it's the work I've always wanted to be doing, and I count myself so fortunate that you all show up here. I'm so glad you were wrapped in the love that star whales know to give. You deserve it.
I have a dear friend who is a star whale. Life has not been easy for her, and she has done the work to heal her trauma and use it to help others. She was SA'd as a child by an uncle, physically abused in the name of discipline by an overzealous grandmother (meaner than a two-headed snake, she's said). She and her two older siblings were raised by an alcoholic single mother after her dad walked out when she was only 3. As an adult, after having two beautiful daughters, she suffered multiple miscarriages before her son came along. She has turned all of this life experience into pure empathy and kindness for others. When she tells her story, she says the same thing you did - we all have a choice in how we respond. She could have been a mean, bitter person that no one wanted to be around. Instead, she made her empathy be her superpower, and she's an angel among us.
Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to your friend so very much. What a gift she is, to take all that, absorb it, and spit out out as kindness and love. What a perfect example, and I am SO THANKFUL you have her.
I'm incredibly thankful for her too. I met her my first day on a new job back in 1997, and we soon became very close friends - she's my sister at heart. When I was down with my knee injury 4 years ago, she's the one who showed up to help make food, clean my house, do laundry, whatever needed done.
This is beautiful. Thank you Tyler for all you bring and all you give of your heart and energy to the world around us.
I’ve never watched Dr Who, but I loved your Star Whale so much I decided to name her Grace.
Perhaps she too was wild and fiery in her past before she learned to accept the pain and hurt that is inevitable and find the means to respond with love and empathy.
Ahh, Grace is perfect. You have to watch Doctor Who. You HAVE to.
Can I start with the new one on Disney or do I have to go all the way back?? It feels like getting into Star Trek for the first time and not knowing where to jump in!! (I’m team next generation all the way)
Beautiful, I truly loved this, I need to be more of a star whale…..
You are.
This is beautifully timed, right up to me reading it 2 days after it was posted. At the time you posted this, I was struggling with the decision to be kind and understanding even though I was pissed and felt like a rug being taken for granted and walked all over.
I've softened in the past two days, though I am not done. I need to stand my ground and make a statement of abusing my kind heartedness somehow. I don't want to threaten that if there is a next time, it may be time to cut the cord, as painful as it would be. But I want to make a statement that, while being kindhearted, I may not always be as understanding as I am today. I just haven't found the right words … but, well, maybe I just did! What about that.
Thanks for aiding my clarity with this brilliant piece. Now I need to find the Doctor Who episode as I don't remember it very well. So, I will find it somehow and re-watch it. Thanks for all you are and do. Peace.
Oh, geez … and the song had me in tears. Sigh.
So beautiful. Thank you.