I’m not there yet, truth be told, and I don’t know if I ever will be. This is ok. There is something that gets forgotten in our never-ending hustle to become what we should and it’s a simple thing, but like all simple things, they seem to get lost in the shuffle the more complex we make our lives. It is this:
There is no time limit on becoming yourself, there is no rush.
Who we are at this exact moment is worthy of praise, of pride, of appreciation, and this is something I have spoken to at great length on this Signal Fire. We do not need to improve anything we do not wish to improve when it comes to our physical forms, our emotional states, our habits, our proclivities. It’s a choice that remains entirely with us, no one can kick-start anything we do not wish started, no one can enforce a shift that we are not desiring. In this though, it should be said, and said again, it is ok to wish for changes, to dream of bigger things, to hold onto goals, plans, and hopes, like they are coated in gold and make possible all we know to want. It’s ok to aim for things, to plan for them like they will happen, for they will if we work at them, they will if we want them badly enough. Where we steer wrong, is the idea that there is a time limit on dreams, that there is a countdown clock that starts at some significant event, graduation, birthday, whatever, and it expires in some distant future day. That we’re up against it, at all times, racing this metronome until we, or it, expires. False, I say, false.
Me, personally, I’m not there yet. I’m not even close to being there yet, and I know “there” is a goal line that will keep moving, inches forward for each month I draw breath, again, this is ok. Truth is, there is more I need to do, more I want to be, and some of the things I am doing now I know are not what I wish to be doing 10 years from now, but they are steps on the path to get to the other path that will be the path I think will bring me more happiness. I’ll expound.
Sarah and I pay most of our bills taking photographs, as running a newsletter and the paltry returns on published books do not put enough food on the table, or insurance in the medicine, to call it satisfactory. Maybe one day, if enough people in enough places sign up for this little Signal Fire, I can cut back, but for now, it’s photographs, and here’s the thing: I LOVE taking photographs, but unfortunately, the path we’re on means that 99% of our jobs are wedding photographs, and whilst it’s been an amazing thing over the last 13 years, it’s not the kind of photos I am passionate about taking. I am made for travel photography, for nature photography, for taking candid and documentary style photographs in random cities, random forests, on the shorelines of some craggy sea. I am made for National Geographic style story-telling, my images paired with my writing, and I know that this offering, this combination, has value. Trouble is, I Just don’t know where to put it, I don’t know yet the steps to make it a reality. I know I will keep trying to find out, I know I’ll keep working, always working my silly ass off to make this dream happen, but I know that it takes time, and it takes hope, and it takes a little bit of luck. What I’ve learned, is that inside these truths, lives another, and it is that it’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to ask those for their assistance in getting you to that point. If you’re doing the work, if you’re putting in the blood, sweat, and tears, it’s ok sometimes to reach out and try to increase the luck that needs to fall your direction.
I ask today, to any and all of you, for help in this regard. If you know anyone, anywhere, that could help make this dream of mine a reality, I would love to know. I would love any contacts, advice, connections, hell, anything, from anyone, if they know of people doing this type of thing, living this type of life. I am always all ears, and I remain so now, open, sponge-like, enthusiastic, ready.
I call all this the scenic route, the meandering path to who we will one day be. The journey has always been the thing, a cliche repeated so many times it blossomed into something even more than cliche, and that’s because cliche things are cliche because they are true. The winding paths hold all the beauty, and its the things we find along the way that actually do the shaping when we swear we’ve “arrived” at where we’re going. On this path of mine, I’ve found so many beautiful things, I’ve found friends that began as clients and remain close to this day, I’ve found secret little spots on the map that I never, ever, would have visited if given 1,000 choices otherwise. I’ve found love, the strongest love I never knew was possible, but always, always, dreamed of finding. I have found peace, calm, trials, tribulation, joy, heartbreak, and wisdom that comes from them all. This strange path of wedding photography, of book tours I never thought I’d be capable of attending, of random collaborations with random companies in random places. Every single one, another memory in the highlight reel of my life. Every opportunity, another chance to push further, closer to where I want to be, to how I want to live. What a thing.
This Signal Fire is a reminder, to myself, and to you, that it’s ok to be slow at getting to where you want to get. It’s ok to take the scenic route, and it’s ok to know, in the deepest recesses of your soul, that there is more you’re destined for, that you’re aiming directly towards. We get so talented at being hard on ourselves, at holding ourselves to such extreme standards, and we convince ourselves that if we don’t achieve what we want to achieve in the shortest amount of time possible, it’s not a success at all. Rubbish, this. I say again, there is no time limit on becoming yourself, and it needs repeating, that we already are the “yourself” we want to be, we’ve always been. We’re adding to, always, never starting fresh. All we’ve done, seen, endured, celebrated, is the clay we build ourselves stronger with, the gold in the cracks that makes us beautiful.
Go, dream, try, wander, and ask for help. If there is something calling out to your soul, listen.
Take the scenic route, and wave when you see me there.
I’m still not quite there,
I’m taking the scenic route,
to who I’ll become.
I love love this. I have always wanted to write but there was never time inbetween raising kids and life but at 44 I finally have given myself permission to start down this road! And you help inspire me that it’s possible. And I would love to be a part of a retreat!!
I LOVE THIS! Cannot wait to see! And more to come on retreats!
I believe you will get there and hope you enjoy the beautiful scenery along the way.
That last part, always a given. :) SO much beauty to enjoy.
It's so easy to hear the advice to take it slow but so hard to implement. Never the less it's a good reminder in this fast paced world. A retreat sounds amazing also!
I appreciate this so much. AND YES To retreats!!
My former boss travels and does photography. But he is a millionaire so he can afford it. Can you pitch yourself to a business and have them pay you to travel and take pictures? My nephew works for an ad agency in New York and lives in Utah. He travels to get video of a car or whatever they’re selling, then edits the video to be made into commercials. I think you would be great at that.
I would LOVE this. Travel + photography is what we do when we're Not doing weddings, and I love it so much.
Thank you for this haiku and reminder that the scenic route is okay to take! Heck, not just okay to take but also okay to enjoy it, as we make our way to the Bigger Goals. I really needed this today.
As for advice, I can't think of anything specific to Nat Geo type photography but I will keep my eyes and ears open, now that I know someone who is interested in this, and I will pass along any useful connections in the future.
For some indirect advice, I can tell you something I do for my business!! My business is quite different from yours -- baking -- (although I'm working on steps to get into copywriting for the architecture and design community as well) but maybe there are some translatable things??
Social media, for all of its negatives and its frustrations, is a great way to "find" people.l, and get a glimpse into their world or their career. I remember when I had my "ah-ha!" moment, that instagram isn't just for regular people and for A lister celebs. So, I run a cupcake biz.... I follow other cupcake bakeries from all over; I follow local food and beverage companies.... From there, sometimes you can find the founders, or lead bakers, etc -- people from within the company, who have their own accounts. It's easier to connect through those accounts sometimes, because their accounts have only a few hundred or a few thousand followers, whereas the business account might have hundreds of thousands of followers. Or sometimes they just post cool tips, too! Fill your feed with people working in roles similar to what you want!
Grab some Nat Geo magazines and look up that photographers you admire; do they have an online community similar to Signal Fire? A digital place to connect and to share work? Are they on Reddit, doing AMAs (Ask Me Anything)?
Are there publications that almost always filter work or people into Nat Geo?
Have you tried going down a Google rabbit hole? Start with "how to become a nature photographer," or, "how to work for Nat Geo," or something similar and dive into sites, blogs, portfolios, anything that might lead to a connection or another path forward.
I am so glad this post found you when it did, and so glad you needed it and got it. Your advice is fantastic and so well received! I'm on it.
I love this reminder, because I know it’s one I need to hear often. I get very anxious when I start to think about where I “should” be by now in my life, and the things I think I should be doing. But it helps to take a moment and remember all the things I have accomplished and all the amazing experiences I have had. That keeps me in perspective and helps me reset and focus on the things I still want to accomplish.
As for advice, my husband worked for Nat Geo and knows and still works with some of their photographers. I will see if I can find out any info or connections. In the meantime, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but Nat Geo has a “Your Shot” campaign, where they feature photography submitted by amateurs - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/pages/topic/yourshot
I don’t know if it’s a launching point for photographers getting signed, but in my opinion, the more you get your work out there, the more likely it is you’ll get noticed and get opportunities.
Also just found this: https://nationalgeographicpartners.com/2022/12/national-geographic-launches-pictures-of-the-year-photo-contest-inviting-aspiring-photographers-to-show-the-world-around-them%ef%bf%bc/
The "Should be's" always override everything else, don't they?! I hope the anxiety of that slows, and I hope the feeling of your accomplishments override even that!
Thank you for your advice, would love to hear any advice from your husband!
I love this. At 29, it's very easy to feel behind or continually be hard on yourself. There is no certain day, time, or set date for our hopes and dreams!!! Thank you for this. SO MUCH.
You're welcome so very much! It's the least I can do!
Love the retreat idea! :)
ME TOO!!!!!!
I listened to this four times! At 55, feeling largely disappointed, I continue to look for myself, to believe that life has the possibility of change, that there is still more. The message of this podcast could be a mantra for me- hence the repeated listening. I am thinking these days, that I need to put more energy into looking at who I am now rather than continuing to try to mold myself into some better, future self that I am probably never going to become. As you said, “we already are the “yourself” we want to be, we’ve always been.”
I would love a retreat- the hitch would be the where and when. How about a book of your photos with your prose?
There is Always time to turn it all around. Every passing minute. I Love the idea of a book with just prose. WHat a thing that'd be. Thank you!
Thank you - I needed to hear this today!
You're ALWAYS welcome.
This is so on point with where I am in my life. Recent years have brought me several turning points, pivotal moments and reasons to change direction. I've lamented to my therapist that I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, I seem to be idling when the rest of the world keeps moving toward goals and reaching for new accomplishments. She asks, "Why can't what you're doing be enough for now?" This is the point you've made here as well - don't set your compass to someone else's path. <3
I'm so glad when things I write feel relevant, and timely, and important to what's happening in your life. "Don't set your compass to someone else's path" is such wonderful advice.
I've been meaning to subscribe for a couple of weeks now. finally got to it to make it official, because of this post. for : my dreams of living in such a story-telling follow the scent of the story of... wherever we are - and putting it out there for... whoever is there to witness it. I've always thought of magazines, zines, starting a publishing company of sorts - where we work in themes of the publications. enough of us have enough stuff coming out of every pore - it feels like something that can... be brought to life if we all continue to speak to our dreams - and see who wants to contribute, who might know some steps we don't - so we don't have to do it alone. I... just ordered a batch of the last book I made to send out for the end of the year, and holding it in my hands a couple of days ago reminded me how simple it can be to create it - yet never knowing where to place, these sacred things we create, is such a mystery. together? side by side? maybe.
toda (thank you in hebrew)
Simcha Rachel
www.thiswhollylife.com
anddddd... retreats are a fuck yes. where would you desire?
I wanna do one in the USA, and one in Scotland!
AH Thank you! So so so happy to have you here! I cannot wait to see what you bring to this place!
glad to be here. <3
I just love this so much. I cannot wait to see where your life journey continues to take you.