We get to decide, and no one tells you that. Call ourselves passengers on this ride, remind ourselves to keep hands and feet inside at all times, valuables stowed away safe and secure. This thing has rails, we tell ourselves, we’ll end where we’ll end and get jostled along the way. Forgetful species, aren’t we humans?
What if I told you there’s more to this story than the Disney-like ride we stand in line for and feel helpless upon? What if I told you a little secret?
We get to decide the journey we’re on, we get to decide what matters along the way.
There are no rails. There’s no one controlling the speed, no one with their hand on the big red button should things go wrong. It’s us, and it’s always been us, and we get to decide if this wild carnival rollercoaster is beautiful, or haunting, triumphant, or altogether disappointing. We get to pick, and we get to do so every single day. Somewhere along the way we forget, and maybe I’m here, here at the start of a new year, a new chapter blank and inviting, to remind you. Turns out, there are some ways you can achieve this, simple ways to incorporate more appreciation, happiness, and intention. My lovely wife does something almost every day (don’t worry, she gets busy and forgets days too, no one is perfect) that she picked up from a movie we watched and were surprised to enjoy as much as we did.
The film was called “The Map of Tiny Perfect Things” and it was the last 3 words that inspired us both, me through writing, and she through sketches and watercolor paint. I won’t spoil the film, so go watch it, but basically we do this every day:
Find something, some tiny perfect thing, worth remembering. Every. Damn. Day.
A strange thing happens when we do this: what begins as an effort-based practice, begins to happen automatically. Whereas we begin reminding ourselves to notice, to seek out the little gems, to write them down, to paint them, before long we just do it because we don’t know how to not do it. We notice more, we appreciate more, we see more, and because we do this, it softens the edges of our frustrations, our sorrows, our anxieties or apprehensions. Slowly, surely, we start choosing (without knowing we’re choosing at all) to see the best bits, and let the worst ones go. Ah, my loves, I cannot tell you the lightness that comes when we don’t carry the weight of all the burdens life tries to throw our way.
Tiny perfect things, it turns out, are helium to the air that surrounds us. They are a lightness that loop around our wrists and lift us above a lot of the nonsense we get bogged down on. They are a crane for Artax in the Swamps of Sadness, and the pull us from the muck and bother, back into the light that we know is there, just beyond the borderlands of fog and dark. Trust me, I know this to be true.
So, my first bit of what I am sure will be many, many bits over the year to come, the year that will be 2023 (that rhymed), is this:
Make yourself a map, or a list, or a journal, or a sketchbook, of one tiny perfect thing each day. Start there. Then make it two. Then three. Then, then, then, then.
See what happens, see how your heart shifts, see where you end up. Get off the Disney rails, get onto the open road. Make these little moments worth saving the breadcrumbs for yourself, back to the joy you knew in youth, but lost somewhere along the way.
I cannot wait to see what you see.
Watercolor paint
moments of a simple day.
Tiny perfect things.
Waking up to these words is my first tiny, perfect thing.
I am honored. As per usual.
Another tiny, perfect thing is the dad who was in the grocery store line ahead of me. He needed to grab a new bag of chips, so he put his kids in the cart and wheeled around the store like they were at an amusement park. The giggles of glee could be heard the entire time. It was magical.
Oh my gosh I love this so much. What a moment, I can see it.
I love this. I am a Buddhist poet writer painter calligrapher and have developed a practice similar to this, a sort of morning reflection. This adds texture that I sometimes miss. Texture is vital in painting and life. Maybe don't even realize we see, and not just feel, it sometimes. Thank you, and enjoy your day.
Texture is everything, isn't it? You're so welcome, I'd love to see what you create!
This inspires me so much! So far the year has been tough and today I will shift my perspective to this practice. Thank you!
If we can help, let us know!
This was exactly what I needed today. I've been journaling "three things I'm thankful for" most days over the last few years. This new year I've been feeling that I needed to expand that practice but I wasn't sure how. Tiny perfect things feels like a natural progression and I love that these things (unlike the thankfuls) don't only reside in that space of gratitude. They can reside in awe, surprise, fascination, and on and on. The possibilities are endless.
Ahh! I would love to see the fruits of this change. Feel free to share links anytime, until Substack allows images to be added to comments!
I've been doing this ever since I started working with plants and flowers last year. It's created wonder and joy every day and I love it.
This is so freaking beautiful! I have actually been doing this in my mind, but you just named it so well. I need to start writing them down, but I definitely search for them every day. I am finding I can be less anxious and more joyful on the days when I have this perspective and see life through the lens of these little things. The last year of my life has been filled with hardship and great change, so seeking out these "tiny perfect things" has been a survival tactic for me. An anchor.
Also, I've recently starting posting pictures on my personal Instagram account that are more akin to the original vibe of IG back in the day. Random pictures, sometimes with fun filters, of anything and everything that I find interesting. Sometimes, I don't even use captions! IG algorithms don't even care about photos anymore, so I am choosing to do what I want with my own damn feed and not care about metrics or any of that bullshit. My page is for me and I love how it used to be a collection of life moments, pics of friends, random nature & food photos, etc. So I'm bringing back that spirit! (That was a long rant but...seemed relevant to the "tiny perfect things" conversation 😂)
I love this and you nearly read my mind. My New Year’s resolution was to begin journaling and what a perfect, lovely way to start!
I do something similar; I have, what I call, a Gratitude Jar. It's this tall, cylindrical glass jar that sits in a visible and accessible spot in my home. I cut up little squares of beautiful, colourful scrapbook paper that I have stacked beside the jar. Throughout the year, (the goal being as often as I can/as close to once a day as I can get, but I do not reprimand myself if I don't follow a certain timeline) I write down the things I am grateful for, on the paper squares, fold them up, and pop them in the jar. Sometimes it's small things, sometimes i have the pleasure of writing down very big things, but anything goes; just any single thing that I am grateful for in that moment. On New Year's Eve, I dump out the squares and read them all. It's a great way to visually see, and consciously acknowledge, that even during a "bad year," there are many good things that happened and many things to feel grateful for. It's a really nice ritual that I have been doing for at least four years now. New Year's Eve is always a tough time for me, so that is why I think it is extra great to be able to find joy through this activity during a hard time.