I love that this has been your North Star & chicken soup, TKG.
It predated Lady Gregson & it shone on as your empires combined & thrived.
We lost one of The Hairy Bikers last year. To the Big C. And, my nervous system screeched to a halt. Si & Kingy. Kings & Si. These sweetly gentle men who were so curious & without ego on their Asia sojourn.
The dopamine hit of their fizzy enjoyment of an Akihabhara maid cafe will always be something that feels like warmth & curiosity & giggles.
The great thing about dogs in our life is they only live in the now, for the moment. They don’t worry about the future and work very hard at forgetting the past. For cats and people, I will say life is a little harder to deal with because we dwell so much on the “what if?” rather than the “whatever!”. I agree “the first step in a happier life is learning, is increasing our awareness and understanding”. I prefer to call it the “happiness of wonder”, because the distraction of learning will take your attention away from the monster-under-the-bed that your imagination can conjure up, or the knowledge of the certainty of life. But if one cannot be distracted, for certain the next best thing is a loss of memory. Any dog or senior person will tell you, that memories are useful, but not the most important thing in living a happy life. In many cases I would rather live wondering what comes next, than to know for certain. Or at least to own an old collection of Mad Magazine … “What, Me worry?”
Allll, a Mad Magazine tribute to kick off a comment. Stunning sir. I too look to my dog, and have for years, for the truth about how much joy comes when we just be where we are, love what we have. We can still hope for more, but if we practice this enough, how magic to see disappointment fade when it might not? "Happiness of wonder," is the best way to put it. Let it be this, henceforth.
Today’s Signal Fire seemed to continue to “theme” of valuing the moment since there may not be another. I am not a person who likes change so I too often mourn the loss of constancy. But, I am trying to accept the ebb and flow of life and acknowledge that often growth only occurs when life necessarily changes. Being a parent certainly teaches you that. Since I recently retired, I have had more time to notice small moments, many more of my choosing, to take a step back and savour them- especially when they bring joy. Lately, I have found particular joy in new friendships as well as old connections now that I am not leading such a harried existence. If this is what aging has brought me- time and wisdom to appreciate moments with the people in my life- then it is no tragedy.
It's always the ebb and flow isn't it? We love one but fear the other, and such angst that causes. I love the new joys you're finding, I love the wisdom you're finding. What a gift.
Yesterday my dog turned 13. So as I took in your thoughtful words, it was her that I was thinking about. My love for her is fierce. Knowing the inevitable will eventually come, it makes me love her even more. Sure, she pees the bed now when she sleeps. So I sleep on a bed covered in puppy pads and change the sheets almost every day and my house kind of smells like dog pee pretty much all the time no matter how much I clean. I am okay with it. If that is the trade off for having her with me a few more years. Knowing that we are all here for a finite amount of time should make us celebrate each moment to its fullest. Each relationship and moment spent with the beings and things we love. A while back, Shovels and Rope put out a collaboration with Gregory Alan Isakov, of a song they wrote about their beloved dog. Its called Love Song from a Dog, and if you haven't heard it, I beg of you, to stop what you are doing and throw it on, especially if you have or have had a dog (or pet) that you love.
Since it came out, it is the anthem that I put on when we go for our walks and honestly, it makes me cry when I hear it and think about the injustice in the difference of lifespans between us and our pets. I know that I have a limited time left with her and so I make an effort to make the very most of the time that is left. And this makes me think, that perhaps, this approach should be taken in all our encounters. Not just with the old and aging, because we can feel the looming presence of death that much stronger. But in every fleeting moment with the people we love. Heck even with the people we are not so fond of.
I love the quote you made about the cup already being broken. Because it sure does suck when you break for your favourite mug. I have a mug that is just for Sundays. I am often drinking from it when I listen to this signal fire. I don't lend it to anyone else, because I don't want to risk them breaking it. I know because I broke the favourite mug of a friend once and it has taken me years to replace it. I searched high and low and when I finally found the perfect cup and presented it, he had already forgotten that it was me who had broke the old one! So indeed, the cup for him, was already broken.
It is hard to watch the accounts of people who have just lost their homes in the fires of LA. The sadness, shock and trauma is palatable. But everyone who is asked is always grateful that their loved ones are alive. Things can be replaced. It is the constant message we hear. The outpouring of donations and people coming together to help replace these items and to show love and support for those who have lost everything is a testament to our core nature. When the time comes, we show up for each other. We rebuild and we go on. The ebb and flow of loss and joy is archetype of our existence no matter how much we have or where we live. If nothing else, the certainty of death; of loss, is what unites us in our humanity.
Sidenote: This summer I was home visiting my family in Canada. My father came out west from the east coast and we were all over at my brother's house. Both of them get pretty bad anxiety and are very much homebodies. All the two of them wanted to do was to chill out and watch was back to back episodes of Jeremy's farming show, Clarkson's Farm. I mocked it at first, but after a few episodes, I was hooked! If you haven't checked it out, I highly recommend it!
This one brought pain. Constancy evaporated. All my friends have moved away, and there is not too much communication these days. There are texts here and there, but the tea and conversation are gone.
It's been a long time. Perhaps I am the only constant. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be with others here as a bonus, yet already gone.
This is a tough one. I'm struggling. Just writing this and thinking about it is bringing up tears. And I don't cry often due to one of my meds. My throat hurts. I cannot speak it. I really have to sit with this one, Tyler. Explore it. Find out why the tears. Why so sad?
Why so sad?
"There's beauty in release. There's no one left to please. But you and me." Sheryl Crow
The only constant is change.
I love that this has been your North Star & chicken soup, TKG.
It predated Lady Gregson & it shone on as your empires combined & thrived.
We lost one of The Hairy Bikers last year. To the Big C. And, my nervous system screeched to a halt. Si & Kingy. Kings & Si. These sweetly gentle men who were so curious & without ego on their Asia sojourn.
The dopamine hit of their fizzy enjoyment of an Akihabhara maid cafe will always be something that feels like warmth & curiosity & giggles.
What a time to be alive.
You're so precisely right. All will change, all.
What, Me worry?
The great thing about dogs in our life is they only live in the now, for the moment. They don’t worry about the future and work very hard at forgetting the past. For cats and people, I will say life is a little harder to deal with because we dwell so much on the “what if?” rather than the “whatever!”. I agree “the first step in a happier life is learning, is increasing our awareness and understanding”. I prefer to call it the “happiness of wonder”, because the distraction of learning will take your attention away from the monster-under-the-bed that your imagination can conjure up, or the knowledge of the certainty of life. But if one cannot be distracted, for certain the next best thing is a loss of memory. Any dog or senior person will tell you, that memories are useful, but not the most important thing in living a happy life. In many cases I would rather live wondering what comes next, than to know for certain. Or at least to own an old collection of Mad Magazine … “What, Me worry?”
If we lived like dogs
Past and future are not key
Sniff to know what’s now
Of time and changes
Not all are so good or bad
Why we have bandaids…
“Say What? Me Worry?”
Alfred Neumann was so smart
To be like a dog
What we focus on
Is not always the full view
Look less and see more
I was going to leave this one out, but I’m having too much fun …
Sniff to just know - “now”
Then piss on it and move on
Ah! To live like dogs…
Allll, a Mad Magazine tribute to kick off a comment. Stunning sir. I too look to my dog, and have for years, for the truth about how much joy comes when we just be where we are, love what we have. We can still hope for more, but if we practice this enough, how magic to see disappointment fade when it might not? "Happiness of wonder," is the best way to put it. Let it be this, henceforth.
Today’s Signal Fire seemed to continue to “theme” of valuing the moment since there may not be another. I am not a person who likes change so I too often mourn the loss of constancy. But, I am trying to accept the ebb and flow of life and acknowledge that often growth only occurs when life necessarily changes. Being a parent certainly teaches you that. Since I recently retired, I have had more time to notice small moments, many more of my choosing, to take a step back and savour them- especially when they bring joy. Lately, I have found particular joy in new friendships as well as old connections now that I am not leading such a harried existence. If this is what aging has brought me- time and wisdom to appreciate moments with the people in my life- then it is no tragedy.
It's always the ebb and flow isn't it? We love one but fear the other, and such angst that causes. I love the new joys you're finding, I love the wisdom you're finding. What a gift.
To quote Metallica…”Sad but true”
Powerful post…I’m still wrestling with this…the “letting go” in life…the knowing but denying and hoping for more…
Can’t think about it too much in this moment…
Brother - stay close
*******************
Read a quote from @yungpueblo that says
“the ego seeks to control, so naturally it is at odds with the truth of impermanence…”
Damn you Ego!
Always close friend. Always. We can hope for more, while understanding the end will come. Both.
Yesterday my dog turned 13. So as I took in your thoughtful words, it was her that I was thinking about. My love for her is fierce. Knowing the inevitable will eventually come, it makes me love her even more. Sure, she pees the bed now when she sleeps. So I sleep on a bed covered in puppy pads and change the sheets almost every day and my house kind of smells like dog pee pretty much all the time no matter how much I clean. I am okay with it. If that is the trade off for having her with me a few more years. Knowing that we are all here for a finite amount of time should make us celebrate each moment to its fullest. Each relationship and moment spent with the beings and things we love. A while back, Shovels and Rope put out a collaboration with Gregory Alan Isakov, of a song they wrote about their beloved dog. Its called Love Song from a Dog, and if you haven't heard it, I beg of you, to stop what you are doing and throw it on, especially if you have or have had a dog (or pet) that you love.
https://open.spotify.com/track/44MhM2pN1a0BNq1aArU1y1?si=e8201dbe9ef54ed7
Since it came out, it is the anthem that I put on when we go for our walks and honestly, it makes me cry when I hear it and think about the injustice in the difference of lifespans between us and our pets. I know that I have a limited time left with her and so I make an effort to make the very most of the time that is left. And this makes me think, that perhaps, this approach should be taken in all our encounters. Not just with the old and aging, because we can feel the looming presence of death that much stronger. But in every fleeting moment with the people we love. Heck even with the people we are not so fond of.
I love the quote you made about the cup already being broken. Because it sure does suck when you break for your favourite mug. I have a mug that is just for Sundays. I am often drinking from it when I listen to this signal fire. I don't lend it to anyone else, because I don't want to risk them breaking it. I know because I broke the favourite mug of a friend once and it has taken me years to replace it. I searched high and low and when I finally found the perfect cup and presented it, he had already forgotten that it was me who had broke the old one! So indeed, the cup for him, was already broken.
It is hard to watch the accounts of people who have just lost their homes in the fires of LA. The sadness, shock and trauma is palatable. But everyone who is asked is always grateful that their loved ones are alive. Things can be replaced. It is the constant message we hear. The outpouring of donations and people coming together to help replace these items and to show love and support for those who have lost everything is a testament to our core nature. When the time comes, we show up for each other. We rebuild and we go on. The ebb and flow of loss and joy is archetype of our existence no matter how much we have or where we live. If nothing else, the certainty of death; of loss, is what unites us in our humanity.
Sidenote: This summer I was home visiting my family in Canada. My father came out west from the east coast and we were all over at my brother's house. Both of them get pretty bad anxiety and are very much homebodies. All the two of them wanted to do was to chill out and watch was back to back episodes of Jeremy's farming show, Clarkson's Farm. I mocked it at first, but after a few episodes, I was hooked! If you haven't checked it out, I highly recommend it!
This one brought pain. Constancy evaporated. All my friends have moved away, and there is not too much communication these days. There are texts here and there, but the tea and conversation are gone.
It's been a long time. Perhaps I am the only constant. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be with others here as a bonus, yet already gone.
This is a tough one. I'm struggling. Just writing this and thinking about it is bringing up tears. And I don't cry often due to one of my meds. My throat hurts. I cannot speak it. I really have to sit with this one, Tyler. Explore it. Find out why the tears. Why so sad?
Why so sad?
"There's beauty in release. There's no one left to please. But you and me." Sheryl Crow