Beautiful as always Tyler, I’m almost 67 and have three children in their mid 30s. It’s true what you talk about and I can remember it well. I don’t know if it was the hardest period in my life dealing with my aging mother on my own as well as three teenagers, but it did feel like the hardest stage because it was to date when I was going through it. I feel that every stage after about 30 feels as intense. It’s just the issues and players change. There is beauty with every struggle though, and it has been my experience that all pain comes from the loss of something beautiful, and I try to be grateful for that as opposed to focusing on the loss.
This is such a beautiful way of seeing it, that everything we are currently going through will feel harder than the last. How true. And you're so right, there is SO much beauty in every stage, every struggle.
Thanks for the inspiration. Also with credits to Dick Vitale for his inspiring “oh baby!” call of a recent college basketball game. The man keeps coming back from cancer treatments just to drown us in positivity. As Neil Young sang in his “Rust Never Sleeps” song , "It's better to burn out than to fade away".
Tyler, I believe what you are describing is called The Sandwich Generation, when you are still caring for, on some level, children and parents simultaneously.
I really enjoyed this post. What comes to me on reflecting is that I think this is such an individual thing depending on your life circumstances. Every era has its challenges and rewards. I am in my late fifties, and in some ways life is getting harder still, yet in some ways easier. I have more aches and pains and less energy for the day. Almost all of my family is gone. Yet, I care less about what other people think of me and my life. I treasure my solitude more than I used to. I have a deeper appreciation of all of the privilege that has come my way pretty easily and more of a desire to learn how to give back to my community from that ease. Maybe it all comes down to taking stock on a regular basis. : )
Wow Jen, this is amazing and such a beautiful personal bit of wisdom. Thank you, seriously, thank you, for this. It's so wonderful to hear from those just beyond where we are, that what we have coming is going to be magic in all its own ways.
As a 50yo PT, who has been working as a PT for close to 30 years now, I have finally seen *that* light. I do not find it enjoyable. It’s not fun, or relaxing, or comfortable. I don’t even feel better after I’m done. It’s hard! And for me, it’s also necessary. I’ve accepted that in order to be able to continue doing all of the other things I want to do, Pilates is now a necessary part of my week (most Wednesdays at 5:30pm, think of me)…. At least once or twice every class I still catch myself thinking, “what in the actual f am I doing here?” 🤔🤔🤔 Then I hear my name being called out, and I go back to doing whatever I was supposed to be doing. I agree, midlife (?so far) isn’t all that fun! But…we can’t get there, without first being right here. 😉 Midlife 60s depend on our midlife 50s and midlife 40s. I met a guy yesterday who will turn 100 next month. He still lives in his own home. You just never know. Pilates. Or whatever solidifies your foundation. Enjoy this moment!
YES! It's so true. I think it's also one of those things that people, once Out of this stage, kinda forget what it was to be In it, and those who aren't Yet in it, think you're exaggerating.
There’s a lot of comfort in knowing that all of us who are in this timeline together can relate. The journey may feel alone in the muddied middle but look at all of us feeling it together. 🖤
Ahhh! You are correct in my commenting back.... yes, you are in the middle of your life and as scary as it may be, it is a wonderful and sometimes disturbing time.
As I have moved on to the other side of the middle, I often feel that strange flutter in my stomach that I am edging closer to my "end". I take a pause and think, okay I may only have 20 years left, let me reverse twenty years back.... wait ..... what, I am 47 again, wow! That feels like it was a hundred years ago!
The best part of the "middle" years for me, was being more in the moment than ever, taking my experiences, journeys, adventures, happiness and sadness and using that knowledge to apply to my life in my middle years..... so much wiser, appreciative, loving, braver, on and on! I believe my life journey has made me relish more moments, love more deeply, grieve with gratitude, and laugh harder.... you are wiser now, truly live each moment because you do have the rest of your life..... don't take a moment for granted🥰. Be brave!!
Beautiful as always Tyler, I’m almost 67 and have three children in their mid 30s. It’s true what you talk about and I can remember it well. I don’t know if it was the hardest period in my life dealing with my aging mother on my own as well as three teenagers, but it did feel like the hardest stage because it was to date when I was going through it. I feel that every stage after about 30 feels as intense. It’s just the issues and players change. There is beauty with every struggle though, and it has been my experience that all pain comes from the loss of something beautiful, and I try to be grateful for that as opposed to focusing on the loss.
I absolutely love your last sentence- there is so much wisdom in what you wrote. This is wonderful advice.
Couldn't possibly agree more.
This is such a beautiful way of seeing it, that everything we are currently going through will feel harder than the last. How true. And you're so right, there is SO much beauty in every stage, every struggle.
It’s all about the core, baby!
The middle is a different place
Not hard and lifted like the edges
With the telltale sag in the center
And a spot stain here and there
Yes, every mattress is doomed
Not as in the miracle foam type
But the real original coil spring
Hey, biology can’t change so fast
Even if you wash the sheets often
And flip the sucker over every year
With the weight of time and body
The coils and the padding collapse
Then gravity takes over
You and life roll into the middle
Struggling to climb back out
Or you learn from the mattress fairy…
Every mattress needs support
Starting with the core
And grinding the way out
Lose that crushing weight
Rebuild that foundation
Replace that padding with new content
Learn to roll against the slide
New dreams, fantasies, and focus
And wake up with new energy
It’s all about the core, baby!
As always, you astound and delight us all. It's ALL about the core, and you nailed this.
Thanks for the inspiration. Also with credits to Dick Vitale for his inspiring “oh baby!” call of a recent college basketball game. The man keeps coming back from cancer treatments just to drown us in positivity. As Neil Young sang in his “Rust Never Sleeps” song , "It's better to burn out than to fade away".
Tyler, I believe what you are describing is called The Sandwich Generation, when you are still caring for, on some level, children and parents simultaneously.
Ahhhh, I didn't know it had a name!
I really enjoyed this post. What comes to me on reflecting is that I think this is such an individual thing depending on your life circumstances. Every era has its challenges and rewards. I am in my late fifties, and in some ways life is getting harder still, yet in some ways easier. I have more aches and pains and less energy for the day. Almost all of my family is gone. Yet, I care less about what other people think of me and my life. I treasure my solitude more than I used to. I have a deeper appreciation of all of the privilege that has come my way pretty easily and more of a desire to learn how to give back to my community from that ease. Maybe it all comes down to taking stock on a regular basis. : )
Wow Jen, this is amazing and such a beautiful personal bit of wisdom. Thank you, seriously, thank you, for this. It's so wonderful to hear from those just beyond where we are, that what we have coming is going to be magic in all its own ways.
As a child of 38, I forget that the stars that raised me & taught me how to shine & sparkle are also aging.
And, fading & blinking out.
While the heartbeats outside my chest grow & thrive & remind me that there is always growth, and light.
And, mischief & magic.
That the only constant it change.
As it should me.
* be
(It has, obviously, been a long road as of late)
“I am he who is”… to quote a biblical scholar
Sounded "rather Kevin" to me, m8.
You been well? (Despite The Horrors)
The only constant is change. Touche.
Thank you for putting words to this. I feel this but have been unable to articulate it.
Playing off of Kevin’s ideas…
Pilates.
Pilates is the answer.
It IS all about the core, baby!!
As a 50yo PT, who has been working as a PT for close to 30 years now, I have finally seen *that* light. I do not find it enjoyable. It’s not fun, or relaxing, or comfortable. I don’t even feel better after I’m done. It’s hard! And for me, it’s also necessary. I’ve accepted that in order to be able to continue doing all of the other things I want to do, Pilates is now a necessary part of my week (most Wednesdays at 5:30pm, think of me)…. At least once or twice every class I still catch myself thinking, “what in the actual f am I doing here?” 🤔🤔🤔 Then I hear my name being called out, and I go back to doing whatever I was supposed to be doing. I agree, midlife (?so far) isn’t all that fun! But…we can’t get there, without first being right here. 😉 Midlife 60s depend on our midlife 50s and midlife 40s. I met a guy yesterday who will turn 100 next month. He still lives in his own home. You just never know. Pilates. Or whatever solidifies your foundation. Enjoy this moment!
As I am someone approaching 40, this really speaks to me. It does sneak up on you, slowly then all at once. 🖤
YES! It's so true. I think it's also one of those things that people, once Out of this stage, kinda forget what it was to be In it, and those who aren't Yet in it, think you're exaggerating.
There’s a lot of comfort in knowing that all of us who are in this timeline together can relate. The journey may feel alone in the muddied middle but look at all of us feeling it together. 🖤
Ahhh! You are correct in my commenting back.... yes, you are in the middle of your life and as scary as it may be, it is a wonderful and sometimes disturbing time.
As I have moved on to the other side of the middle, I often feel that strange flutter in my stomach that I am edging closer to my "end". I take a pause and think, okay I may only have 20 years left, let me reverse twenty years back.... wait ..... what, I am 47 again, wow! That feels like it was a hundred years ago!
The best part of the "middle" years for me, was being more in the moment than ever, taking my experiences, journeys, adventures, happiness and sadness and using that knowledge to apply to my life in my middle years..... so much wiser, appreciative, loving, braver, on and on! I believe my life journey has made me relish more moments, love more deeply, grieve with gratitude, and laugh harder.... you are wiser now, truly live each moment because you do have the rest of your life..... don't take a moment for granted🥰. Be brave!!