Ugh this is hits the nail on the head; I worry about this a lot! God knows I am not perfect and I could -- and should -- disconnect more often. But I do not want this device to control my life and I do not want to forget how to nurture relationships with those around me.
It's such a pet peeve of mine, if I am having a conversation with someone and they pull out their phone. To me, it says "you don't matter as much as this other person I am texting or this social media notification I just received." We shouldn't be making each other feel less worthy than a 6"x3" hunk of plastic and metal.
It started with my parents and is a rule that my husband and I will keep, all through raising our kids; no devices at the dinner table, at home or in a restaurant. Of all of the times to connect and bond, it is at the table after a full day of living and having experiences -- it is a time to slow down and share and be together, in real time.
My son (2.5yrs) does not have his own tablet or phone or any kind of "kid" version of these things and we're going to keep it that way as looooong as we can.... Someone recently told me about tablets in a kindergarten class, upon which I almost crapped my chaps, so who knows how long we can hold out, but I'm trying to have him build a foundation without a screen. Does this mean no screen time ever? Heck no! He gets to watch tv, he sometimes watches videos on MY phone, but I am holding it and controlling what and how long we watch. I'm not a perfect mom and sometimes, I need the "help." ie) watching something on my phone, when we're waiting 45 minutes in a line of anxious people waiting to get a vaccination, and he knows he's getting a shot and wants to be anywhere but there... Heck yes I'll let him calm down with a video. Or, we took him on a three hour car ride and yeah I put a movie on for him, but only after an hour and a half of singing and playing and doing my best to hold a conversation with a busy two year old who's strapped into a car seat.
So I know, no one is perfect; adult or child. But man, I know that we all need to try to dial back, or at the very least, we need to notice that the world, the people around us, are worthy of interacting with. Almost nothing sounds scarier than laying on my death bed at 90 years old, thinking wow, all of my experiences were lived through a screen. All of my children only see each other on FaceTime. I can't remember the last time we all got together and we're happy without devices..... Yucky.
I think how you started this is the most important bit, knowing we're not perfect and can't be, but just the intention behind trying to be more present, more aware, more HERE. I LOATHE when I'm speaking to someone and they pull their phone out, it's one of my biggest rude pet peeves too. Nailed this.
Oh how this is so perfectly put! So, so much truth in this! I was born in '93
So I remember the days where hardly no one had cell phones.(Especially no internet)
I wish so badly people would realize a phone is not vital to have 24/7.
I miss the days of peace that came from not having that blue light in your face consistently... Or the train of thought that is "thinking" oh I've got to have my phone i'll be totally lost without it.
- I hope everyone on this Signal Fire REALLY reads this.
Ditto!! I've always been grateful that I remember a time when the Internet wasn't a thing, and that I was already in my twenties when social media became a thing (my heart aches for kids who are already hooked to phones). I definitely fall prey to mindless scrolling, but I'm very aware of being on my phone when with loved ones or out in public, and I love going for walks without it.
My heart too aches for kids nowadays. It sounds so old and fuddy-duddy but man, are they screwed. They are addicted and there's not even the thought of a thought that it's possible to live a different way. Ugh.
Taylor, I was 12 years before you, so the feelings you mentioned here are the same but even more acute. I Wish your wishes, that people could just put it down and be where they are. Feel free to share this one far and wide. :)
The last concert I went to this past summer I got two pics of the singer performing and stood the rest of the 4 hours enjoying the songs and enjoying myself. (I was there with my mother and Aunt) I put my phone in my back pocket and truly just enjoyed the moment. However the phones in the air was mainly all I saw at one point.
My friend and I were just talking about a week ago how these days it's like no one can go without it.
As a high school teacher, I do a double-take when a table of students are just TALKING to each other. Sometimes not one of the four students at each table has their phone out. One table in my last class even likes to play ID card air hockey on their table as class winds down. I wonder if they know how rare that is these days.
Oooooof. I did commit to walking, in 2023, without my phone. And many days I still do, …except when I allow myself to read text messages coming in, …or listen to music, …or get caught up in a podcast or two. Thank you Tyler, for this reminder. Thank you, for this (oh so important) call back to “intentional consumption”. Maybe if we can put our intention on limiting the distractions, we’ll need to put less time, energy, concentration and intention in to being present with all the things in life that truly matter. Maybe those people, places and shared situations will once again return to the forefront, where we really need them to be.
I don’t have Snapchat or TikTok; they were social media platforms that my kids got into and I never bothered with them. I never take selfies- seems absurd and narcissistic to me. While I do my fair share of mindless scrolling on FB and Instagram, I try not to get sucked into inane sites and posts- the ones that, for example, feature what some famous person did/said/wore. I agree that we need to spend our time” reading things that truly matter.” I try to follow art, photography and book sites, ones that post interesting quotes, humour/cartoons- that sort of thing- as much as possible. Your posts, for example. I also agree that when we need to put the phone aside when we take the walk in the woods and especially when we are with other people (such a sad imagine you painted of the restaurant of people oblivious to their surroundings and each other). It’s too easy to pass through the world without truly being present and appreciating the moment. The poet Mary Oliver writes: “Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” As you say, if I spend all my time taking pictures, am I focused on what I am seeing and experiencing or more on trying to capture it on film? I found this quote on FB (don’t know the author so will say it was on a page called “Hell and Earth”): “The key question to keep asking is, are you spending your time on the right things?”
This is Beautifully put, as per usual Laura. That question you ended with will be one I repeat to myself daily. Is this the right thing? Is this worth the time I'm donating to it?
I only have agreement and gratitude to share with this post. Yes, it's a matter of balance. Let's keep our feet on the ground and show up for the real world right in front of us. : )
For neuro-sparkly me and my 3x neuro-sparkly step kids, using our phones as a distraction in a public place is a coping mechanism. I try very hard not to feel guilty about it, but I’ve tried reading a book or listening to something through earbuds and it’s just not as effective. Mindless scrolling is comforting at times! That being said, I love being in places or situations that enchant me so deeply I forget I even have a phone in my bag... to the point where I get home and realise it would have been nice to take a photo to remember it by!
TOTALLY fair statement my friend, and it makes complete sense to me. This is a super important and valid point, and I'm glad you made it. But here's too, to the moments that we forget to capture, they're just so damn good.
I am bad for this. How often do I choose a program/movie to watch based on my ability to also mindlessly scroll through my phone at the same time? I think it is a coping mechanism for stress and a means of quieting my mind. But also, sometimes I just find it fun to watch funny videos of cute animals doing silly things.
I work on social media as part of my fundraising efforts and it is an important part of what we need to do to stay relevant in the lives of donors. But I know that there is also a social standard that compels me to also post to my personal profiles too. When I was home last summer visiting, I had to make a concerted effort to take pictures and videos so that I could update my stories, because that is what we are supposed to do. You can't post everyday to the grid! Heavens no! That is only for the highest of curated moments of perfection! Blah! Eyeroll! Not my bag. I am not that girl. But it is weird how we feel like we have to do it nonetheless! I was at a few concerts and felt obligated to film a bit of each band so I could post it even though I had to strain to get a clear shot without a sea of other peoples phones in it! But I also don't want to watch a show through my phone. So half of my videos are missing the heads of the musicians or pan off to the side stage! I would rather that than to actually watch a show through my phone. It's like sunsets and full moons: cell phones just don't do them justice! It's better just to put down your phone and enjoy the fleeting moment for what it is.
For what it's worth, I do enjoy the art of putting together videos and using the medium to tell my story with. I make all the social media stuff for our organization, and often feel proud of the videos I put together, which I then put out there for people to scroll through, so maybe there is some good to it. But like all good things, moderation is key. Finding a balance, and making a conscious effort to put down the phone and look up at the world in front of us is something we can all work on!
PS Don't worry, I will totes still like and heart all your posts on all the platforms because it really does make a difference as to how many people see your posts!
Oh Heather, you nailed this. I keep reading articles about how almost all young people now watch all their shows with captions on, so they can easier read whilst listening to videos on their phone. UGH. I too have to use social media for my career, and it's my least favorite part of ALL of it. I wish, so many wishes, I could make a full living writing without having to constantly push on socials. Blah. One day maybe. One day.
On Saturday night we had some live music in our restaurant and after streaming live on IG I went to post the video on facebook too but instead posted a one minute video of just my foot that I had recorded unknowingly. It was up for a good five minutes before I realized and took it down, but it made me seriously consider getting some of that only fans foot money for a second! For the children of course! 🤣
I want to be able to say something here, but all I can think of are the things my daughter hung onto when she was oh-so-young ... a plastic 'grasspopper' and a bendable pink panther. She was very good, even when teething, and did not chew them as I watched her like a cat watches an insect on the floor. These later segued to 'Daphne' and a blanket. * The only electrical device she had was the tv, which she would turnoff when I asked to. [I know. She also never drank soda. I mean, right?]
We ARE addicted to our devices ... except at the dinner table, where we still eat as a family [that tiny baby is now 33]. Even when watching tv, [or not watching the cooking shows] [really what's on tv anyway? we will be cutting the cable for steaming soon.] but, where was I? Oh, even watching tv. My husband spends most of the night on his IPad, frequently showing us memes. My daughter will have one earbud in, her laptop on her lap AND still can tell me what's going on on the tv shows. I get bored watching the same cooking shows, so I am usually Googling things that they talk about to get a clearer picture of just what food they have been asked to cook with now. Once I put both away, I usually fall asleep while the commercials are muted. [I still work. It takes a lot out of me.] I will say, for myself, I used to cruise, Instagram, Tik Tok, Facebook, and Tumblr a lot ... Now, I'm usually on FB, or downloading art from Pinterest [which pops up in my email] or Tumblr, if I remember, to put on FB. AND I listen to some guy with a great voice reading his poetry ... * Going out ... well, we rarely do. It's take out Fridays and, you guessed it, the tv on. I gave up long ago. It's easier to not talk than to talk and not be heard because, you know, toys. * I will say, there is my lover from England who I will actually talk to when we are out. No phones, we don't need or want them, we are too focused on each other. * As per usual, I think I lost the thread, But you get a big part of the gist. * This all being said, I like my devices ... could I go without them, as the meme asks? Yup ... as long as I have books and pens and paper. * Maybe I'll try doing THAT while the tv is on [if I am able.}. There is a book about Teresa of Avila's mysticism waiting for me...
Gayle you are so right on so many, many things you said in this. We ARE addicted aren't we? I wish I knew better how to fix this problem. I just wish I knew.
DAMMIT. You just always articulate what I'm feeling!! I've really been grappling with this lately. I've been more sensitive, more aware of the devices that are sucking the life from us all. I've been trying to make the people in my life more aware too. We all deserve more connection. The kind of connection that actually sustains us. My word for the year is "balance" and it really applies to this. I am working to limit my time on my devices, especially when I'm not working. I've been trying to make evenings more sacred and focus on the hobbies that bring me joy. I would honestly probably hop off social media altogether if I wasn't so reliant on it for business reasons. I've actually been contemplating starting a blog and using that as my personal platform rather than posting on social. That feels like a much better means of connecting with the people that actually matter. I've seen how wonderful Substack can be - and even though it still involves devices - it's a deeper connection than shallow likes or engagement on the ever-changing social media platforms that are overwhelming us all into oblivion. Not to mention, I am so SICK OF ADS. Like, it's 80% of my feed, I swear. I don't even see updates from friends and family. I miss so much because of how the algorithms arrange my feed. It's so dumb. I realize I'm ranting now, but I am damn passionate about this topic and it is always on my mind. I am so glad you created a space where we can feel like REAL people who are living REAL lives and talk about REAL SHIT. Thank you thank you thank you.
I Love that you lead with DAMMIT hahaha. You're so right, we all deserve more connection, and god that's the hard part about these phones. As for what you said about Ads, I couldn't agree more. I get so actually angry when I'm trying to learn something, hear something, watch something, and it's just ad after ad after ad. It makes me just stop. I am passionate with you, I always will be. I love ya.
Nailed it buddy!!! I feels this 100%, perhaps this is why I often don’t answer calls, my phone is “lost” somewhere else and I am busy with life!!!! Yay
Ugh this is hits the nail on the head; I worry about this a lot! God knows I am not perfect and I could -- and should -- disconnect more often. But I do not want this device to control my life and I do not want to forget how to nurture relationships with those around me.
It's such a pet peeve of mine, if I am having a conversation with someone and they pull out their phone. To me, it says "you don't matter as much as this other person I am texting or this social media notification I just received." We shouldn't be making each other feel less worthy than a 6"x3" hunk of plastic and metal.
It started with my parents and is a rule that my husband and I will keep, all through raising our kids; no devices at the dinner table, at home or in a restaurant. Of all of the times to connect and bond, it is at the table after a full day of living and having experiences -- it is a time to slow down and share and be together, in real time.
My son (2.5yrs) does not have his own tablet or phone or any kind of "kid" version of these things and we're going to keep it that way as looooong as we can.... Someone recently told me about tablets in a kindergarten class, upon which I almost crapped my chaps, so who knows how long we can hold out, but I'm trying to have him build a foundation without a screen. Does this mean no screen time ever? Heck no! He gets to watch tv, he sometimes watches videos on MY phone, but I am holding it and controlling what and how long we watch. I'm not a perfect mom and sometimes, I need the "help." ie) watching something on my phone, when we're waiting 45 minutes in a line of anxious people waiting to get a vaccination, and he knows he's getting a shot and wants to be anywhere but there... Heck yes I'll let him calm down with a video. Or, we took him on a three hour car ride and yeah I put a movie on for him, but only after an hour and a half of singing and playing and doing my best to hold a conversation with a busy two year old who's strapped into a car seat.
So I know, no one is perfect; adult or child. But man, I know that we all need to try to dial back, or at the very least, we need to notice that the world, the people around us, are worthy of interacting with. Almost nothing sounds scarier than laying on my death bed at 90 years old, thinking wow, all of my experiences were lived through a screen. All of my children only see each other on FaceTime. I can't remember the last time we all got together and we're happy without devices..... Yucky.
“Nearly crapped my chaps” is a new one for me but I LOVE it!
Hehe glad you like it! My brain isn't sure if I made it up or pulled it from the nethers of some distant memory lol
FULLY AGREE.
I think how you started this is the most important bit, knowing we're not perfect and can't be, but just the intention behind trying to be more present, more aware, more HERE. I LOATHE when I'm speaking to someone and they pull their phone out, it's one of my biggest rude pet peeves too. Nailed this.
Oh how this is so perfectly put! So, so much truth in this! I was born in '93
So I remember the days where hardly no one had cell phones.(Especially no internet)
I wish so badly people would realize a phone is not vital to have 24/7.
I miss the days of peace that came from not having that blue light in your face consistently... Or the train of thought that is "thinking" oh I've got to have my phone i'll be totally lost without it.
- I hope everyone on this Signal Fire REALLY reads this.
💜💜
Ditto!! I've always been grateful that I remember a time when the Internet wasn't a thing, and that I was already in my twenties when social media became a thing (my heart aches for kids who are already hooked to phones). I definitely fall prey to mindless scrolling, but I'm very aware of being on my phone when with loved ones or out in public, and I love going for walks without it.
I know, and yes my heart aches for those young kids who know nothing else but screens in their face. 🥺
My heart too aches for kids nowadays. It sounds so old and fuddy-duddy but man, are they screwed. They are addicted and there's not even the thought of a thought that it's possible to live a different way. Ugh.
Taylor, I was 12 years before you, so the feelings you mentioned here are the same but even more acute. I Wish your wishes, that people could just put it down and be where they are. Feel free to share this one far and wide. :)
Wow.
I know that's how I feel! It seems individuals are more concentrated on their phones than living life and not missing the most precious moments.
I will.🙂 It was and is amazing.
The last concert I went to this past summer I got two pics of the singer performing and stood the rest of the 4 hours enjoying the songs and enjoying myself. (I was there with my mother and Aunt) I put my phone in my back pocket and truly just enjoyed the moment. However the phones in the air was mainly all I saw at one point.
My friend and I were just talking about a week ago how these days it's like no one can go without it.
Thank you for this wonderful read! 🔆💜
As a high school teacher, I do a double-take when a table of students are just TALKING to each other. Sometimes not one of the four students at each table has their phone out. One table in my last class even likes to play ID card air hockey on their table as class winds down. I wonder if they know how rare that is these days.
How sad, that ACTUAL communication has become a head-turner!? My goodness, I cannot imagine the things you see on a daily basis.
Oooooof. I did commit to walking, in 2023, without my phone. And many days I still do, …except when I allow myself to read text messages coming in, …or listen to music, …or get caught up in a podcast or two. Thank you Tyler, for this reminder. Thank you, for this (oh so important) call back to “intentional consumption”. Maybe if we can put our intention on limiting the distractions, we’ll need to put less time, energy, concentration and intention in to being present with all the things in life that truly matter. Maybe those people, places and shared situations will once again return to the forefront, where we really need them to be.
You're so welcome for this reminder! Here's to a year where we just try to be more aware, I think that's a beautiful start to things!
I don’t have Snapchat or TikTok; they were social media platforms that my kids got into and I never bothered with them. I never take selfies- seems absurd and narcissistic to me. While I do my fair share of mindless scrolling on FB and Instagram, I try not to get sucked into inane sites and posts- the ones that, for example, feature what some famous person did/said/wore. I agree that we need to spend our time” reading things that truly matter.” I try to follow art, photography and book sites, ones that post interesting quotes, humour/cartoons- that sort of thing- as much as possible. Your posts, for example. I also agree that when we need to put the phone aside when we take the walk in the woods and especially when we are with other people (such a sad imagine you painted of the restaurant of people oblivious to their surroundings and each other). It’s too easy to pass through the world without truly being present and appreciating the moment. The poet Mary Oliver writes: “Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” As you say, if I spend all my time taking pictures, am I focused on what I am seeing and experiencing or more on trying to capture it on film? I found this quote on FB (don’t know the author so will say it was on a page called “Hell and Earth”): “The key question to keep asking is, are you spending your time on the right things?”
This is Beautifully put, as per usual Laura. That question you ended with will be one I repeat to myself daily. Is this the right thing? Is this worth the time I'm donating to it?
I only have agreement and gratitude to share with this post. Yes, it's a matter of balance. Let's keep our feet on the ground and show up for the real world right in front of us. : )
Cheers to the balance! Here's to showing up for the real world. Love to you Jen.
For neuro-sparkly me and my 3x neuro-sparkly step kids, using our phones as a distraction in a public place is a coping mechanism. I try very hard not to feel guilty about it, but I’ve tried reading a book or listening to something through earbuds and it’s just not as effective. Mindless scrolling is comforting at times! That being said, I love being in places or situations that enchant me so deeply I forget I even have a phone in my bag... to the point where I get home and realise it would have been nice to take a photo to remember it by!
I love those bittersweet realizations after the fact when you realize you were having such a good time, that no one took a single picture!
TOTALLY fair statement my friend, and it makes complete sense to me. This is a super important and valid point, and I'm glad you made it. But here's too, to the moments that we forget to capture, they're just so damn good.
I am bad for this. How often do I choose a program/movie to watch based on my ability to also mindlessly scroll through my phone at the same time? I think it is a coping mechanism for stress and a means of quieting my mind. But also, sometimes I just find it fun to watch funny videos of cute animals doing silly things.
I work on social media as part of my fundraising efforts and it is an important part of what we need to do to stay relevant in the lives of donors. But I know that there is also a social standard that compels me to also post to my personal profiles too. When I was home last summer visiting, I had to make a concerted effort to take pictures and videos so that I could update my stories, because that is what we are supposed to do. You can't post everyday to the grid! Heavens no! That is only for the highest of curated moments of perfection! Blah! Eyeroll! Not my bag. I am not that girl. But it is weird how we feel like we have to do it nonetheless! I was at a few concerts and felt obligated to film a bit of each band so I could post it even though I had to strain to get a clear shot without a sea of other peoples phones in it! But I also don't want to watch a show through my phone. So half of my videos are missing the heads of the musicians or pan off to the side stage! I would rather that than to actually watch a show through my phone. It's like sunsets and full moons: cell phones just don't do them justice! It's better just to put down your phone and enjoy the fleeting moment for what it is.
For what it's worth, I do enjoy the art of putting together videos and using the medium to tell my story with. I make all the social media stuff for our organization, and often feel proud of the videos I put together, which I then put out there for people to scroll through, so maybe there is some good to it. But like all good things, moderation is key. Finding a balance, and making a conscious effort to put down the phone and look up at the world in front of us is something we can all work on!
PS Don't worry, I will totes still like and heart all your posts on all the platforms because it really does make a difference as to how many people see your posts!
Oh Heather, you nailed this. I keep reading articles about how almost all young people now watch all their shows with captions on, so they can easier read whilst listening to videos on their phone. UGH. I too have to use social media for my career, and it's my least favorite part of ALL of it. I wish, so many wishes, I could make a full living writing without having to constantly push on socials. Blah. One day maybe. One day.
On Saturday night we had some live music in our restaurant and after streaming live on IG I went to post the video on facebook too but instead posted a one minute video of just my foot that I had recorded unknowingly. It was up for a good five minutes before I realized and took it down, but it made me seriously consider getting some of that only fans foot money for a second! For the children of course! 🤣
I want to be able to say something here, but all I can think of are the things my daughter hung onto when she was oh-so-young ... a plastic 'grasspopper' and a bendable pink panther. She was very good, even when teething, and did not chew them as I watched her like a cat watches an insect on the floor. These later segued to 'Daphne' and a blanket. * The only electrical device she had was the tv, which she would turnoff when I asked to. [I know. She also never drank soda. I mean, right?]
We ARE addicted to our devices ... except at the dinner table, where we still eat as a family [that tiny baby is now 33]. Even when watching tv, [or not watching the cooking shows] [really what's on tv anyway? we will be cutting the cable for steaming soon.] but, where was I? Oh, even watching tv. My husband spends most of the night on his IPad, frequently showing us memes. My daughter will have one earbud in, her laptop on her lap AND still can tell me what's going on on the tv shows. I get bored watching the same cooking shows, so I am usually Googling things that they talk about to get a clearer picture of just what food they have been asked to cook with now. Once I put both away, I usually fall asleep while the commercials are muted. [I still work. It takes a lot out of me.] I will say, for myself, I used to cruise, Instagram, Tik Tok, Facebook, and Tumblr a lot ... Now, I'm usually on FB, or downloading art from Pinterest [which pops up in my email] or Tumblr, if I remember, to put on FB. AND I listen to some guy with a great voice reading his poetry ... * Going out ... well, we rarely do. It's take out Fridays and, you guessed it, the tv on. I gave up long ago. It's easier to not talk than to talk and not be heard because, you know, toys. * I will say, there is my lover from England who I will actually talk to when we are out. No phones, we don't need or want them, we are too focused on each other. * As per usual, I think I lost the thread, But you get a big part of the gist. * This all being said, I like my devices ... could I go without them, as the meme asks? Yup ... as long as I have books and pens and paper. * Maybe I'll try doing THAT while the tv is on [if I am able.}. There is a book about Teresa of Avila's mysticism waiting for me...
Gayle you are so right on so many, many things you said in this. We ARE addicted aren't we? I wish I knew better how to fix this problem. I just wish I knew.
DAMMIT. You just always articulate what I'm feeling!! I've really been grappling with this lately. I've been more sensitive, more aware of the devices that are sucking the life from us all. I've been trying to make the people in my life more aware too. We all deserve more connection. The kind of connection that actually sustains us. My word for the year is "balance" and it really applies to this. I am working to limit my time on my devices, especially when I'm not working. I've been trying to make evenings more sacred and focus on the hobbies that bring me joy. I would honestly probably hop off social media altogether if I wasn't so reliant on it for business reasons. I've actually been contemplating starting a blog and using that as my personal platform rather than posting on social. That feels like a much better means of connecting with the people that actually matter. I've seen how wonderful Substack can be - and even though it still involves devices - it's a deeper connection than shallow likes or engagement on the ever-changing social media platforms that are overwhelming us all into oblivion. Not to mention, I am so SICK OF ADS. Like, it's 80% of my feed, I swear. I don't even see updates from friends and family. I miss so much because of how the algorithms arrange my feed. It's so dumb. I realize I'm ranting now, but I am damn passionate about this topic and it is always on my mind. I am so glad you created a space where we can feel like REAL people who are living REAL lives and talk about REAL SHIT. Thank you thank you thank you.
I Love that you lead with DAMMIT hahaha. You're so right, we all deserve more connection, and god that's the hard part about these phones. As for what you said about Ads, I couldn't agree more. I get so actually angry when I'm trying to learn something, hear something, watch something, and it's just ad after ad after ad. It makes me just stop. I am passionate with you, I always will be. I love ya.
Nailed it buddy!!! I feels this 100%, perhaps this is why I often don’t answer calls, my phone is “lost” somewhere else and I am busy with life!!!! Yay