Tyler it is 828 in northern New York and I am astonished on how you touch my heart with every signal fire especially this one. I confess I have not listened to one in a while struggling to find peace in my sister's sudden death. My sister has always been far more timid and unadventurous than I so when she went on a cruise by herself it surprised everyone. First can I say I went on a cruise once and realized it is so far from who I am I could never do that again. Well, the story is she died suddenly by herself with no answers to any of us Holland America will not give us the medical records and the doctor would not sign the death certificate so we are in the process of an autopsy. I realize that it might of been her time and although she was very healthy anything could of happened. I am finding peace but what haunts me the most is the lack of empathy the cruise lines have shown and how big business as I have always known are heartless. Like you spoke about we all have or will suffer loss and I will not leave a legacy of bitterness but of love . I have never been one to reach out it seems I am better at listening to others but your words ,your honest raw words always help so very much.
Thank you sending love to anyone who is suffering.
I am so so sorry for your loss and the lack of closure you’re experiencing! My heart breaks for what you’re going through... it does get easier, but the loss never fully leaves us. The man I loved, shared a remarkable love story with for 13 years, died suddenly of a rare genetic heart disorder. He was only 33 at the time. That was a decade ago now. I was devastated! When it’s sudden it leaves us reeling. Then the grief comes in waves. Eventually, the memories are bittersweet, because I find there is simultaneously a sadness about the loss, but the deepest gratitude for having had the love. I wish for you the answers you need and the deep gratitude for the love you shared! 💗
Thank you , passing along my love to you so very sorry. It is true it shakes you up and freezes you hard to thaw out. Know that I am here too for you we are all on this crazy roller coaster ride. Sending my love !!!!!!
A legacy of love. Yes, beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss and the suddenness of it must be so shocking and hard. I am touched by your story and your big love for your self and your sister. Thank you.
thank you so very much knowing there is love on this platform is fantastic. We do not need to be close to someone to feel empathy. I feel the love here all the time. thank you !!!
It just feels like the universe is throwing everything at me that it can think of. It’s a lot to process, and then my therapist had her baby yesterday, so now she’s on leave for who knows how long. It’s a lot.
Ah, Tyler - what a timely piece. Thank you. I’m a couple of days away from the anniversary of my father’s death. It’s been a tough year and your words were a powerful reminder that tragedy is inevitable and that grief and coping with grief are ongoing. And, for the record, your podcast (sure, call it that!) shot to the top of my list this morning. Keep up the good work :)
Thank you Tyler for offering up the words I needed to find and the words I needed to hear. Death has affected our family tremendously in the past two years. Both my sister and sister-in-law are having difficult times coping. They rely on me to listen and offer hope. With our latest death, the sudden loss of my 25 year nephew to suicide, I have been struggling. Due to circumstances surrounding his death there was no funeral, no viewing, no memorial. I have never needed these things in the past. For the first time in my life I am struggling to find a way to say goodbye. I am struggling to hold myself together while I offer my family hope. I am struggling with the concept that he chose to die alone, he was that in pain and that he couldn’t reach out. This wasn’t just a painful day for him. He was in so much pain he planned it. The realization kills me. I took care of him as a child when my sister was on bed rest with his sisters. He lived with me while he tried on big city life. How could I miss this? So this morning your message was a gift. Thank you. I will not become lost in bitterness, but rather continue to offer up hope to my family who desperately needs it at this time. Continue to focus on love. If you have any suggestions for ways to say goodbye I would greatly appreciate any ideas you could pass along. There is just something there I cannot lay down. I could use the help.
To anyone who is struggling I send my sincerest love. You are not alone.
Angel, I am so very sorry for the loss of your nephew to suicide. How hard and heartbreaking to not have some kind of a memorial. I am struck by how strong you are being to hold your own grief while supporting your family through this. And your question, how could I miss this, brings tears to my eyes. It's not on you. I am parenting adult kids with brain disorders through a lot of suffering (24 years in), and I've had to learn, inch by inch, my love will not save them. It's so hard. Keep reaching out and telling your story. There is more grief support out there now than ever before, virtual groups etc. You are also not alone. : )
Also, you may be aware, there are Death Doulas, or End Of Life Doulas, who help people with things like difficult-to-plan memorials. That might be an idea, someone to help come up with creative and meaningful ideas. Sadly, I'm sure there is an enormous community of people out there who have difficult memorials to create. I know that, for example, we are losing about 300 people a day in our country to overdose (mostly opiates).
Goodness Angel. I am so, so, so sorry. Suicide has touched my life far more than once, and it is such a disruptive and corrosive force every time it does. If there's anything we can do, we'll do it. We love you and are here.
I'm a hard person to ask about saying goodbye, because in my Buddhist perspective, there really isn't one, just a 'brief delay between hellos' as I once wrote. I think the kindest "goodbyes" to those we love and lose, are in how we choose to live after they are gone.
Thank you for this Tyler. I absolutely love the “brief delay between hellos”. I will sit and reflect on both this and how I choose to live my life now to honor him. Thank you.
I wish i had the words to heal know that there is love here on this platform. I worked with young adults with similar struggles difficult to find answers but although this may not help the pain he felt was unbearable and no one was responsible for that. I have lost both sisters-in-law to suicide as well as my brother-in-law and close friends no one can hold the blame. I guess as i ponder live with love as he would of that is feel as simple as it sounds can help. Leave a legacy for him of love . sending all my love to you and the rest of the family .
Today must be the day for grief - I just woke up from a dream (and I almost never remember dreams) - crying because I dreamed of my grama. I don't remember what happened but I haven't seen my grams since she passed almost 10 years ago. And I had an idea for a book I'm planning to writing - also about grief. I think it must be a February thing. February and November are always the grief months for me for no reason in particular.
Prior to listening to your Sunday Edition (which I look forward to every weekend), I was in a virtual support group for family members of people with substance use disorder. And the topic was Grief! And then to listen to your post. This is so beautiful, thank you. I love your analogy of getting those handcuffs off and running down the street, checking on every street corner to be sure of escape! : ) I don't know how our culture became so grief averse (although I have some suspicions), but people like you are bringing us back around to the truth of it. To really live and love means to lose sometimes, and it hurts, and only we can decide how to keep showing up for life, for ourselves, for our community. But the more "out" we are about this, the more we are helping others to find their way too. THANK YOU FOR THIS.
Tyler it is 828 in northern New York and I am astonished on how you touch my heart with every signal fire especially this one. I confess I have not listened to one in a while struggling to find peace in my sister's sudden death. My sister has always been far more timid and unadventurous than I so when she went on a cruise by herself it surprised everyone. First can I say I went on a cruise once and realized it is so far from who I am I could never do that again. Well, the story is she died suddenly by herself with no answers to any of us Holland America will not give us the medical records and the doctor would not sign the death certificate so we are in the process of an autopsy. I realize that it might of been her time and although she was very healthy anything could of happened. I am finding peace but what haunts me the most is the lack of empathy the cruise lines have shown and how big business as I have always known are heartless. Like you spoke about we all have or will suffer loss and I will not leave a legacy of bitterness but of love . I have never been one to reach out it seems I am better at listening to others but your words ,your honest raw words always help so very much.
Thank you sending love to anyone who is suffering.
❤️ I will continue my journey with love ❤️
I am so so sorry for your loss and the lack of closure you’re experiencing! My heart breaks for what you’re going through... it does get easier, but the loss never fully leaves us. The man I loved, shared a remarkable love story with for 13 years, died suddenly of a rare genetic heart disorder. He was only 33 at the time. That was a decade ago now. I was devastated! When it’s sudden it leaves us reeling. Then the grief comes in waves. Eventually, the memories are bittersweet, because I find there is simultaneously a sadness about the loss, but the deepest gratitude for having had the love. I wish for you the answers you need and the deep gratitude for the love you shared! 💗
Thank you , passing along my love to you so very sorry. It is true it shakes you up and freezes you hard to thaw out. Know that I am here too for you we are all on this crazy roller coaster ride. Sending my love !!!!!!
Yes, we're all in this together! Isn't it beautiful to be fostering mutuality in both joy and sorrow! 💗
A legacy of love. Yes, beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss and the suddenness of it must be so shocking and hard. I am touched by your story and your big love for your self and your sister. Thank you.
thank you so very much knowing there is love on this platform is fantastic. We do not need to be close to someone to feel empathy. I feel the love here all the time. thank you !!!
Debra, my goodness, I am so sorry. Please let us know what we can do, and please keep us posted. We're all here for you.
thank you so much !!!!! this podcast has been great and has helped me navigate through so hard times thanks!
Well. I can’t say I was expecting to ugly cry this morning, but ugly cry I did.
For the tears, apologies. :)
Just wanted to follow up and make sure you're ok, after today's Sunday Edition too. Here if you need.
It just feels like the universe is throwing everything at me that it can think of. It’s a lot to process, and then my therapist had her baby yesterday, so now she’s on leave for who knows how long. It’s a lot.
❤️
Ah, Tyler - what a timely piece. Thank you. I’m a couple of days away from the anniversary of my father’s death. It’s been a tough year and your words were a powerful reminder that tragedy is inevitable and that grief and coping with grief are ongoing. And, for the record, your podcast (sure, call it that!) shot to the top of my list this morning. Keep up the good work :)
I am sorry Nikki, I hope this time that comes continues to lose its potency, more each year, while maintaining all the memory.
You're amazing.
Thank you Tyler for offering up the words I needed to find and the words I needed to hear. Death has affected our family tremendously in the past two years. Both my sister and sister-in-law are having difficult times coping. They rely on me to listen and offer hope. With our latest death, the sudden loss of my 25 year nephew to suicide, I have been struggling. Due to circumstances surrounding his death there was no funeral, no viewing, no memorial. I have never needed these things in the past. For the first time in my life I am struggling to find a way to say goodbye. I am struggling to hold myself together while I offer my family hope. I am struggling with the concept that he chose to die alone, he was that in pain and that he couldn’t reach out. This wasn’t just a painful day for him. He was in so much pain he planned it. The realization kills me. I took care of him as a child when my sister was on bed rest with his sisters. He lived with me while he tried on big city life. How could I miss this? So this morning your message was a gift. Thank you. I will not become lost in bitterness, but rather continue to offer up hope to my family who desperately needs it at this time. Continue to focus on love. If you have any suggestions for ways to say goodbye I would greatly appreciate any ideas you could pass along. There is just something there I cannot lay down. I could use the help.
To anyone who is struggling I send my sincerest love. You are not alone.
Angel, I am so very sorry for the loss of your nephew to suicide. How hard and heartbreaking to not have some kind of a memorial. I am struck by how strong you are being to hold your own grief while supporting your family through this. And your question, how could I miss this, brings tears to my eyes. It's not on you. I am parenting adult kids with brain disorders through a lot of suffering (24 years in), and I've had to learn, inch by inch, my love will not save them. It's so hard. Keep reaching out and telling your story. There is more grief support out there now than ever before, virtual groups etc. You are also not alone. : )
Thank you for your kind words Jen. This is most compassionate of you.
Also, you may be aware, there are Death Doulas, or End Of Life Doulas, who help people with things like difficult-to-plan memorials. That might be an idea, someone to help come up with creative and meaningful ideas. Sadly, I'm sure there is an enormous community of people out there who have difficult memorials to create. I know that, for example, we are losing about 300 people a day in our country to overdose (mostly opiates).
Thank you Jen. This is something we can explore. I truly appreciate it.
Goodness Angel. I am so, so, so sorry. Suicide has touched my life far more than once, and it is such a disruptive and corrosive force every time it does. If there's anything we can do, we'll do it. We love you and are here.
I'm a hard person to ask about saying goodbye, because in my Buddhist perspective, there really isn't one, just a 'brief delay between hellos' as I once wrote. I think the kindest "goodbyes" to those we love and lose, are in how we choose to live after they are gone.
Thank you for this Tyler. I absolutely love the “brief delay between hellos”. I will sit and reflect on both this and how I choose to live my life now to honor him. Thank you.
I wish i had the words to heal know that there is love here on this platform. I worked with young adults with similar struggles difficult to find answers but although this may not help the pain he felt was unbearable and no one was responsible for that. I have lost both sisters-in-law to suicide as well as my brother-in-law and close friends no one can hold the blame. I guess as i ponder live with love as he would of that is feel as simple as it sounds can help. Leave a legacy for him of love . sending all my love to you and the rest of the family .
Today must be the day for grief - I just woke up from a dream (and I almost never remember dreams) - crying because I dreamed of my grama. I don't remember what happened but I haven't seen my grams since she passed almost 10 years ago. And I had an idea for a book I'm planning to writing - also about grief. I think it must be a February thing. February and November are always the grief months for me for no reason in particular.
February = Grief. I'm sure of it now.
Prior to listening to your Sunday Edition (which I look forward to every weekend), I was in a virtual support group for family members of people with substance use disorder. And the topic was Grief! And then to listen to your post. This is so beautiful, thank you. I love your analogy of getting those handcuffs off and running down the street, checking on every street corner to be sure of escape! : ) I don't know how our culture became so grief averse (although I have some suspicions), but people like you are bringing us back around to the truth of it. To really live and love means to lose sometimes, and it hurts, and only we can decide how to keep showing up for life, for ourselves, for our community. But the more "out" we are about this, the more we are helping others to find their way too. THANK YOU FOR THIS.
You're so very welcome for this. Thank YOU for showing up here and being instrumental.
Incredible Ty. Thank you. ❤️
Always, always.