Easy As Breathing | 1.25.21
I won’t name names, I won’t call anyone out or reveal any secrets, but I will say something here, and I will hope it answers one of the Worry Knott questions that I was privately sent, but does so in a safely public way. The short-version of the question was simple: How do you find love, and when you think you found it, how do you know it is love? I wanted to answer this because I think it’s something that many people wonder of, many want to ask but feel embarrassed to do so, many are waiting for an answer on. I’ll do my best here, and I will try to make it make sense, but keep in mind it is a perspective that is mine and mine alone, born out of all the experiences I have had, the relationships both failed and successful, the ache, the joy, the whole burrito.
The haiku below says it all, truly, but I’ll expound. I believe that love will come easy when it comes, and it will come when it is supposed to. I believe that the love will feel as easy as breathing, like you’ve waited a lifetime to do so, been practicing all your life, already know the dance steps even though you didn’t have the music. BUT WAIT, you’re saying, it cannot be this easy! Alas, it is not. The love part, the loving part, the knowing part, I believe feels this way, but it’s time, tide, life, circumstance, responsibility, timing, and two billion other obstacles that make the having of the loving hard. We’re always going to be faced with these hurdles in front of the love we’ve found, and it’s up to us to decide if we’re willing, hell if we’re able, to jump over them. The love comes easy, the staying is the work, the choosing it, day after day after day, there’s the rub. What they don’t tell you is it’s gonna be hard, as hell, love…what they also don’t tell you is, it’s so worth it.
It'll come easy
when it is supposed to come.
Easy as breathing.
Haiku on Life by Tyler Knott Gregson
Song of the Day
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I love the way you answered this. I really resonated with the part about love being the choosing over and over to keep going with the other person, to keep doing the work of maintaining the relationship, as easy as it is to establish it with the right person. I've always felt that....bear with me....a relationship is like a houseplant, or a garden. You can buy a plant from a nursery or aquire a cutting that's aesthetically beautiful and is a perfect fit for the life you live....but it's a living breathing thing. You cannot put it on a shelf and expect it to thrive. It needs attention... regular water, being turned to face the light for even growth, and sometimes a loving pruning to encourage new growth. A repotting if it's outgrown the container it's living in. The relationship is symbiotic. It beautifies your life, but it requires much of you to keep making your life better. And it has its own life in your absence. At the end of the day, it's a commitment to foster the growth of another, while they enrich your life with their presence....and while being in or around your home, their roots are their own. I don't know if the analogy makes sense to anyone else, but I've often found trees and plans and the way they're interdependent on resources and share struggles like weather, but are also independent growing beings to feel a lot like raising a family. It's my job to nurture and cultivate the love with my husband and my boys....and my house plants and my gardens.... it's ALL an act of love. And love is a state of being....but much more a doing and a giving, a choosing, a deciding, an investing. And when the reciprocity exists, that they also invest and decide and choose and give and do in return....no one runs out. The needs are met and the growth is mutual. I used to think love was most synonymous with trust....and it's a pretty important part.....but I believe more and more that it's specifically trusting the other person to mutually cultivate growth within relationship....that we're all each other's gardens.
it's the quest of a lifetime and then once you find it, then the quest is to take care of it