Better With Wild Things | 8.8.21
The Sunday Edition
We learn about ourselves as we go through this life, little facts that become ingrained in the people we are, the people we call ourselves and identify as to those that wander in and out. Some knowledge sets us free, others burdens us like anchor. Some we are proud of, some we hide from others and hope they never notice. Some we announce, some we renounce and try our best to change. One thing I learned early has never faded away, one thing has stuck and grown and transformed from something I vaguely realized, to something that presents itself time and again as an unalienable trait that constantly defines how I feel, who I am at the center, and what I understand about the way I move through life. This lesson is a simple one, one I revisit often here: I am better with wild things.
It’s not that I don’t like human beings, it’s never been this. I love people, I truly do, fascinated by what makes us tick, what makes us swoon and what makes us serious, what brings us joy, what sinks us into sorrow. I love humans, I do, but I am absolutely, positively, drained by humanity. I understand that some of this is Autism, some is a consequence of where I am on the spectrum, I understand that it depends entirely on who the people are I am around. I know these things, but the truth remains, when I am around groups of people, I am instantly and completely worn out. I am drained, I am emptied, and I feel hollow and exhausted. When I’m around animals, the precise and opposite is true. I am awakened, I am connected deeply, I am lost in them. I have too many stories to tell in this short space of these deep and intense connections with wild animals, everything from hand feeding deer, to squirrels, to birds, to a thirty minute interaction with a timberwolf that moved me in ways I cannot describe. The overwhelming realization I’ve come to is simple: I was a Disney Princess in another life, and those effects linger to this day. I am better with wild things, I always have been, and I am ok with this.
As I’ve said, I love human beings, but I am begging to wonder how many of you feel this same way, drained out, worn out, exhausted and depleted with interactions with our fellow humans. I wonder if all of you disappear into animals in such a comfortable and familiar way. Do you too feel more yourself when around wild creatures, less so around people, or is this an introversion/extroversion situation? As I’ve said, I’m insanely fascinated with people, what makes us all similar, what makes us all so different, and so I want to hear back from you, consider this a writing prompt for Sunday. What makes You tick? Is it animals, is it people?
Point is, it takes a billion colors to make a spectrum, and trust me, spectrums are something I know quite a bit about. How boring a place if we were all the same, how lame an existence if all things presented the precise same. We’re made to be different, to juxtapose and contradict, to complement and illuminate. We’re here to celebrate these differences, to love them all without judgement, and if that means loving people more than creatures, so be it. If that means feeling more at home with a wild animal than a person, so it goes.
Tell me, animals or people? Tell me why. Tell me what drains you, tell me what sets your soul on fire. I’m here.
Better with wild things,
drained out by humanity,
saved by animals.
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I consider myself on an unknown spectrum of introvert and extrovert, the slider moves freely. I spend the majority of my time physically alone, and am incredibly comfortable with that. But I can also speak to literally anyone. I’ll talk to strangers here and there all day. I’m fascinated by humans, by our shared humanity and the ways we connect, and disconnect. This is balance for me. I’ve learned my own energy enough, found the insides of all this skin, and some strange activation I received in 2018 has given me an extra sensory layer, that works like strings on a musical instrument, in a vast electrical field most of us can’t see. I feel everyone, no matter the distance. It’s a form of telepathy, and we are...or have always been, heading this way. I don’t believe it’s reserved for a select few. Are people exhausting? Yes! That’s chaos. That’s the part of nature that creates storms, earthquakes. Animals never lost touch and this is why we look to them. They are our wise guardians and companions, here to remind us how to be.
If I’m being honest, I’m more of an ambivert than I realized. I’ve always leaned more on the introvert side though.
However, I have learned that although absolutely fascinated by humans. They drain me immensely. This in part has also been increased by the job I currently have. As well as just the state of the world. Sometimes, I lose faith in the human race entirely. I then therefore seek solace with animals and wild things.
I day dream of what it must be like to be an animal in the wild. Untethered to the complexity of human society. Where days are spent just to survive physically. Building homes, creating families, finding food, everything required to live without the added pressure of politics, religion, societal norms, social constructs…
If we’re lucky though, we can find special humans that we vibe with. That their presence feels as calming as being around wild things. For those humans, I am thankful and will always keep close by.
In general though, I prefer wild things, far less draining to be around. But with the right people, they also bring life to me.