After All I Gave | 4.14.21
Enough to call it everything, that’s how I’d word it. Enough to say I was emptied out, refilled, and was emptied out again. I gave all I was, all I knew I would be, and I hoped secretly and silently it would be enough. I poured it into you, I saturated you with every drop of my care, my patience, my love; some saw it, some did not. Some saw me, this strange man with stranger quirks, as a lead weight tied to the ankle of you, saw you dragging me to the riverbanks, flirting with the current. Some saw me as a passing phase, a proximity infatuation that would fall swifter than it rose, some saw me as the disruptor of all things, the black hole that would pull your life in. Some, saw me as the lighthouse to the storm shaken ship of you. Some saw me as the home you’d been searching for all your life. Some still don’t see, still don’t understand after all these years, all these words, all these times proving myself. This is ok. I know what I am to you, I know you know, and this is enough. We cannot convince others of our worth, we cannot make them see the light of our own souls, we just have to keep shining, knowing that as long as those we love are bathed in shine, all the rest is shadows anyway.
After all I gave
I hope they will understand
who I am to you.
Haiku on Life by Tyler Knott Gregson
Song of the Day
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There is a certain energetic magic between two people who love that creates between them a personal universe that exists, but cannot ever be understood from the outside looking in. That space, that circle of synergy is a thing understood by only those within it. Others can see inside, but always through the bending lens of the bubble, and thus always imperfectly from without. It's a holy space and part of its beauty is that it only belongs to each "us" that makes it. And we make of it what we will. We are shared creators of that small universe.
"We cannot convince others of our worth, we cannot make them see the light of our own souls, we just have to keep shining, knowing that as long as those we love are bathed in shine, all the rest is shadows anyway." A beautiful reminder that we need to be our authentic selves for US, and if the rest of the world sees our value, wonderful. If not, their loss.