I’m wonderful. I come alive in sad girl autumn. I’m a paradox. If it’s dreary, dark & breezy while simultaneously hopeful & nostalgic, I’m happy. Are you good, my friend?
The fact that the mother of my step kids and her lovely partner and I all get along so well is such a blessing. I’m not sure I could do this whole stepmother thing if we didn’t. She’ll always be his first wife and the mother of their kids but I can’t curse her for anything. To borrow the words of a much cleverer wordsmith than myself, “I care not about lost firsts, but I will fight, knuckles bloody and teeth sharpened, for your lasts”.
Ah, you've read the depths of my soul on this one. I am the one waiting, having met my twin flame decades ago when we were too young to understand the depth of the connection. We parted ways, living separate lives, raising separate families. We've since reconnected and I've divorced the one I met in his absence. He's still learning those karmic lessons and finding his way, so I wait. And wait, and wait and wait, relegated to the role of best friend until my turn in the light comes back around. Someday.
Some would say, "Forget him. Move on. You deserve to be happy." The thing is I AM happy, even though I'm mostly alone. That missing piece of my soul is back where it should be, and I have him in my life, even if it's only sometimes and not every day like I would love it to be. Rather than curses on those who have the lead role now, I'll continue to work on myself while I wait.
The depths of your soul are much more beautiful, I Have no doubt. And I understand, I would rather be alone than settle for less, and there is such beauty too in alone.
Oh, but for the lingering love lost because it was never recognized amid the resigning rain of life. Yet who among us has heard love announced with the crystal clear clang of a banging bell in our brains? Seems quite obvious (and almost Shakespearean) one would fail to recognize the difference between a true lost love and love lost to the past. For it should not be our fate to forgive or forget what we did not recognize in the first. We can and do what we will with our good memories at best. All the rest should be the well forgotten wreckage of the wronged.
I love this so much. I think, when you find that resonant person who you feel you've known somehow your whole life, and then feel all the years you spent without them...There is both loss for those years and complete relief now that it's right (and gratefulness for all the weird circumstances and coincidences that brought you together - either for the first time or again).
I am learning, though, that with the very resonant people who are in other relationships, or who, in some way you are waiting for - it DOESN'T always have to be the complete romantic "your-other" person...sometimes having just the resonance is enough. Or at least, I'm learning to learn that it is sometimes enough.
The resonance is absolutely enough sometimes. I think just feeling something so profound is a gift in and of itself, isn't it? Waiting is such toil, but sometimes too, even that feels magic. Weird.
This is one of my favorite things you’ve written. It really spoke to my heart and rings very true for me. I might always be waiting, things might always be complicated, but your words give me hope.
Oh, wow. Everything about this is so timely for me. It brought a tear to my eye. Thank you, friend. 🥲
Ah, truly Sad Girl Autumn & Clara Season.
You good?
🍁
I’m wonderful. I come alive in sad girl autumn. I’m a paradox. If it’s dreary, dark & breezy while simultaneously hopeful & nostalgic, I’m happy. Are you good, my friend?
Lolsob
Danny Pink entered the chat over three years ago, and we're still shining like fireworks & haven't defined anything.
We just slipped in through the side door & never left. While we chase sunsets & are up with the birds.
And, of course the three year intermittent situationship with a baby narcissist has kept things safe.
I'll keep you posted x
Sounds like a happy little life. 🖤
Them's fighting words on the day of the 20th anniversary of gilmore girls. I have had to accept that he's my Luke.
(Cue existential yell into the void)
24th!!
(What even is time?)
Happy Shutdown Photosynthesis- https://www.instagram.com/p/DA5zXZPvfZx/?igsh=MWF4YWh5Y3ZvNTd6aw==
(One of my favourite places on earth. The best thing in London 🍁]
Stunning!
Thank YOU.
The fact that the mother of my step kids and her lovely partner and I all get along so well is such a blessing. I’m not sure I could do this whole stepmother thing if we didn’t. She’ll always be his first wife and the mother of their kids but I can’t curse her for anything. To borrow the words of a much cleverer wordsmith than myself, “I care not about lost firsts, but I will fight, knuckles bloody and teeth sharpened, for your lasts”.
I'm in the same situation, and so grateful.
Absolutely such a blessing. What a gift. Here's to the lasts.
This is such dirty pool, TKG.
"Leave Jo alone."
"You brought The Library to me."
My hearts leapt a long, long time ago. And, now I have to play catch up.
Ah, Q4.
Allonsy.
Catch up is the story of a life :) I know yours will be magic.
Loving the weekly poetry. This one along with the preamble was truly special.
The preamble kind of became a poem of itself haha.
It did! It was gorgeous!
Ah, you've read the depths of my soul on this one. I am the one waiting, having met my twin flame decades ago when we were too young to understand the depth of the connection. We parted ways, living separate lives, raising separate families. We've since reconnected and I've divorced the one I met in his absence. He's still learning those karmic lessons and finding his way, so I wait. And wait, and wait and wait, relegated to the role of best friend until my turn in the light comes back around. Someday.
Some would say, "Forget him. Move on. You deserve to be happy." The thing is I AM happy, even though I'm mostly alone. That missing piece of my soul is back where it should be, and I have him in my life, even if it's only sometimes and not every day like I would love it to be. Rather than curses on those who have the lead role now, I'll continue to work on myself while I wait.
The depths of your soul are much more beautiful, I Have no doubt. And I understand, I would rather be alone than settle for less, and there is such beauty too in alone.
Oh, but for the lingering love lost because it was never recognized amid the resigning rain of life. Yet who among us has heard love announced with the crystal clear clang of a banging bell in our brains? Seems quite obvious (and almost Shakespearean) one would fail to recognize the difference between a true lost love and love lost to the past. For it should not be our fate to forgive or forget what we did not recognize in the first. We can and do what we will with our good memories at best. All the rest should be the well forgotten wreckage of the wronged.
So beautifully put, as per usual friend.
I love this so much. I think, when you find that resonant person who you feel you've known somehow your whole life, and then feel all the years you spent without them...There is both loss for those years and complete relief now that it's right (and gratefulness for all the weird circumstances and coincidences that brought you together - either for the first time or again).
I am learning, though, that with the very resonant people who are in other relationships, or who, in some way you are waiting for - it DOESN'T always have to be the complete romantic "your-other" person...sometimes having just the resonance is enough. Or at least, I'm learning to learn that it is sometimes enough.
The resonance is absolutely enough sometimes. I think just feeling something so profound is a gift in and of itself, isn't it? Waiting is such toil, but sometimes too, even that feels magic. Weird.
This is one of my favorite things you’ve written. It really spoke to my heart and rings very true for me. I might always be waiting, things might always be complicated, but your words give me hope.
My goodness, thank you.
love these. please keep sharing.
I'll do my very best :)